The other day I had a major realization. In one day I had several “family members” email me and tell me how much I have helped them. (For those of you that are new to my community, I call each one of you my family. Welcome!) I had several of them send me testimonials on how much the Abundance class changed their lives. I even had some of my coaches call and email me to validate me on what I was teaching in the coaching course. I let the compliments in and it really felt good.

At the end of the day I had a man email me that he wanted a refund on a product. The exact words he used were, “I want a refund on this joke of a product.” Ouch! I quickly refunded his money, but the email stayed with me. His words rang through my head the rest of the day and into the next day. I found myself doubting my program and myself.

Because I have been doing this work for so long, I was able to realize that I was not feeling good, and quickly paid attention to the thoughts that I was thinking. I remembered the process of manifestation:

Process of Manifestation:

Here’s an extremely important formula, which determines how you create your reality and success. Many of the most respected teachers in the field of human potential have used this formula as a foundation for their teachings. It is called the Process of Manifestation and it goes like this:

T > F > A > R

Thoughts lead to feelings; feelings lead to actions and actions lead to results.

Your thoughts originate from the “files of information” you have in the storage cabinets of your mind. So where does this information come from? It comes from your past programming. That’s right every single thought you have as it relates to what you feel you deserve, what you feel you can create, how much success you can attain, and the value and worth you hold for yourself is from your past conditioning.

That is why it is often referred to as the conditioned mind.

To reflect this understanding you must now revise your Process of Manifestation in the following way:

Programming (Beliefs)






Your programming or beliefs leads to your thoughts; your thoughts lead to your feelings; your feelings lead to your actions; your actions lead to your results.

Many techniques can help you change your thoughts, but changing your thoughts is like cutting a weed at the top of the surface. To really get to the root cause, you need to find the beliefs and pull it out.

My thoughts were focused on a couple of things. First, why did that man respond in such a cruel way? Why couldn’t he have just asked for the refund without the insult? I realized that this was not about me. It was his own resentment and anger within him. Some people have developed a martyr habit. And when you have a martyr in your life, one thing to know is that a martyr wants to hurt. They are a silent sufferer and want to hurt others because of their own pain. I got that one and let that one go.

The second thing I was focused on was the fact that I did not please this one person. Even though earlier in the day I had at least fourteen people that validated and complimented my work, my thoughts went to what was wrong or missing. It was focused on the place where I was invalidated.

So who was right? Were the fourteen people correct in their perceptions, or was the one man correct in his perception? Who was I going to believe? And more importantly, how did I feel about myself?

I teach in my abundance class this important tip:

“Abundant people are always focused on what is right in their lives, instead of what is wrong. ??If you are one of those people that sees the good in a situation instead of the bad, then you are on the right path. Now you want to raise the bar to a higher level.?But, if you are someone that always sees the bad, you have been programmed in lack and limitation. Start looking at the world and all the people in it for what is good and right, versus what is bad and wrong.?See the silver lining in each of these bad situations and take some good from it.”

I decided that I want to continue to be an abundant person and would look for the things that were right in my life. I let “him” go and returned to feeling good about myself. I got very clear about the type of people I wanted in my life and affirmed that I have loving people that support me.

In that moment I made a decision what to believe and what not to believe. Who was to say who was right, anyway? So I choose the empowering and loving thoughts. I choose to focus on the success and really allow that success in my energy field. I sat for a few minutes with my eyes closed and felt the success that was in and outside of my body. I then expanded that feeling even more.

So what are you going to believe? Who are you going to believe? Know that you have a choice in every moment to decide for yourself where you will focus your attention.