Does your partner do some things such as eating or even breathing that totally annoys you? If he or she does, Frederic Gobeil and Christy Whitman can guide you through some easy ways on dealing with this situation. Holding on to resentments and pain body can be some reasons why you react towards those behaviors. The good thing is that by processing your emotions and focusing on the positives instead of the negatives, you can change the way you perceive things.
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Below is a transcript of the video and audio above. The paragraphs and sections are alternated between bold / not bold for ease of reading along with the video or audio.
Does Your Partner Do Annoying Things Like Eating or Breathing Too Loud? Why This Is And What To Do About It
Does your partner do annoying things like eating, breathing? Why is this? What do we do about it? I had a girlfriend that texted me and she’s like, “I think I have misophonia,” which is the hatred of sound as a phobia with her husband. She goes, “When he eats chips, I have to leave the room because it makes my skin crawl.”
I said, “Is it with everyone and everything or is it just your husband?” She goes, “It’s just my husband.” I said, “That is not misophonia.” What it is like when you have negative emotions, negative thoughts or physical reactions. You could have that with just one person. That’s not an actual misophonia.
There’s Something That Is Bigger Inside Of You And Not Necessarily Inside Of The Relationship
What it is that there’s an issue with the other person. You’re holding onto some resentment. We talked about in the last episode, the pain body. It is a manifestation of an effect that has been happening for some time. You’re annoyed because of the fact that you haven’t released some anger, resentment or frustration. You’re not getting what you want in your relationship.
A lot of times, we start to look for what’s wrong and bad in this person because you’re with them. If they show you negative patterns or they show you some of their little quirks, when you’re in love and you just meet them, it doesn’t matter. They probably ate chips and it probably didn’t bug her.
Frederic used to do his throat noise in the beginning and I’m like, “That is weird. I’ve never heard that,” but it didn’t have an emotional charge or reaction on me. I remember while we were going through our tough times and I was having a lot of anger and resentment and I didn’t feel I was getting what I wanted in our relationship.
When he would do his throat noise, I wanted to come out of my skin, but it wasn’t the throat noise. It was because there were energy and emotions inside of me. I also remember every time I would turn the TV on, there would be golf.
That used to bug me like, “There’s the golf again.” My dear friend Arielle Ford wrote a book called Wabi Sabi Love. She talks about that it’s the imperfections in the other person that when we can look at those things and appreciate those things. After I read and had a conversation with Arielle about that, I remember now to this day because I released all the resentment and did all the healing work in our relationship.
I turned on the TV and it’s either golf or it’s Family Feud. I’m like, “My honey was there.” If I hear him doing his throat noises, I do a little dance to it. It’s like a beat. It doesn’t bother me or annoys me anymore. If what your partner’s doing that makes your skin crawl, that’s inside of you. That’s something that you have to be able to release the pain, the suffering, the frustration, the anger, whatever you’re feeling towards that person.
It’s a small annoying detail that comes up. That lets you know that there’s something that is bigger inside of you and not necessarily inside of the relationship. For me, sometimes I don’t know how to make the difference and I come to her.
I ask her, “What is the difference between this is a we moment and this is an I moment?” We as a couple moment, where we need to take a look at it or it’s a moment where I need to reflect on this because this is annoying me. I need to take a look at why it is annoying me.
In the situation of my friend where her husband’s eating chips, that’s not necessarily something that needs to be worked out with a counselor or with coaching. Let the guy eat his chips. It’s internal of why are you getting frustrated with eating your chips? We were watching Family Feud with Steve Harvey. Frederic loves that show. I’ve been watching it. I used to watch it years ago with Richard Dawson, but now he is funny.
One of the questions was, what do wives want their men to stop doing? One of them was breathing. Sometimes it’s like that, you’re breathing too loud or you’re eating chips too loud or whatever it is. If your partner is annoying you, it’s not a we thing. It’s coming inside of you. You have to understand that you have to identify the feelings inside of yourself.
Recognize that’s not something that if you would change, then I would be happy. If you would stop eating your chips that way, then I would be happy. If he stopped eating his chips that way, he would do something else that would annoy her as much. The emotions are inside of her. That behavior may trigger something inside of her because she has unresolved issues.
You have to identify the feelings within yourself first, the frustration, the anger, whatever is happening. That’s the first thing. You then have to be able to process energy. Remember, everything is energy. The good news is that energy wants to move out of your body. The pain-body is not supposed to be there. It wants to move out of you.
As you are processing the emotions and you’re feeling it and getting clear on, “What is it do I feel like I’m not getting in this relationship, that I’m not getting from my partner?” Release that first inside of yourself and then start to look for what is right and good.
What are the positive aspects of your partner? It is easy when you’re feeling angry about something, you don’t know how to process it. It’s easy to start looking at what are all the wrong and bad things? What are the things that annoy me? Once you get on that track, it’s with Law of Attraction. What you focus on will expand.
All Relationships Start Inside Of You First
He could have 1,000 great qualities, but if you’re focused on all the little qualities that annoy you, that pisses you off, that is negative, where you’re not getting what you want, you’re not going to have access to all those great things. You’re not going to have access to the emotions of appreciation, gratitude, love, and all the other things that would feed the relationship.
All relationships start inside of you first. If you’re in the relationship feeling frustrated, angry, dissatisfied, feeling lack of any kind, that will and has to come out and be reflected by the behavior that your partner gives back to you.
What if you release that resentment and all of a sudden the chip-eating, the breathing, the throat tickling, or whatever television show’s on, it didn’t bother you anymore? You started looking for what’s right and good about your relationship, what’s right and good about your partner, all the ways that he or she does show up. They’re the things that you can appreciate about that person.
Start looking for what’s right and good and you’ll find more things that are right and good. When you start to look for the abundance, you’ll see more abundance in all aspects of your life. When you look for lack, you go down into a spiral because lack is from the pain-body.
The brain wants to keep you away from all the fear. What does it do? It activates the places in you where you can feel fear and it causes you to look at all the negative places. That’s why we want you to train yourself to look at what are the positive sides. They’re the things that you are grateful for in your partner, that the partner is doing or that you’re grateful for receiving or for feeling in your partner. That’s retraining the brain in the proper way.
A great process to do, I got from Abraham Hicks years ago and that I teach in the Quantum Success Coaching Academy is, “Wouldn’t it be nice?” Take your watch, your clock, stopwatch, whatever it is, and for 68 seconds because that’s how long it takes to shift the vibration of Law of Attraction to start giving you something else.
It’s 17 seconds to shift of vibration, 68 seconds to start shifting the attraction when you start manifesting and for 68 seconds say, “Wouldn’t it be nice? Wouldn’t it be nice if I could be back in love with my partner? Wouldn’t it be nice that I could sit in a room and appreciate him as he’s eating? Wouldn’t it be nice if I could appreciate the things that he likes to do? Wouldn’t it be nice if I felt appreciated? Wouldn’t it be nice if I got what I wanted in my relationship?”
Keep saying, “Wouldn’t it be nice?” Any place that you feel like, “Wouldn’t it be nice? Yeah, right. That’s going to happen.” That’s the pain point. That’s a place within yourself that you need to release because that’s what you’re holding onto. Any place you’re going, “Wouldn’t it be nice?” and your mind is like, “Yeah, right. That’s never going to happen.”
Those are the places you need to examine because that’s within you. That’s not a we couple thing. That’s a you thing. That’s what I do in my coaching with couples individually, with doing healing work with the Quantum Council of Light. You can go to ChristyWhitman.com to get more information. You can always email Beth@ChristyWhitman.com to learn about how to do some sessions, some individual healing sessions with the council, myself and be able to shift from the inside.
I’ve seen in all the years I’ve been a coach, as the person shifts their own energy inside, all of their relationships shift. It always starts inside of you first because you do. You start the creation of every relationship.
If you expect loving and supportive relationships in all aspects of your life and that’s what you are divinely designed for. It’s what all of us are divinely designed for, to have mutual love and support in all relationships. That’s what you focus on and that’s what you expect. That’s what you will receive.
Learn to recognize what’s inside of you. What are the buttons that are being pushed when you’re reacting a certain way or you’re feeling a certain way? Where does that come from?
In the next episode, we are going to be talking about what is the worst advice you have ever received in your relationship. I appreciate you. Thank you for reading.
See you in the next episode.