how to attract your soulmate love

There is a common misconception among those trying to use the Law of Attraction to manifest soulmate love. And this misconception causes them to work too hard, cling too tightly to expectations, and often, to become deeply discouraged.

A lot of people think attraction is about asking the universe, in very clear and specific terms, for what we want. They’ve perfected their soulmate wish list down to the last detail, and are constantly on the lookout for a match. But this approach to manifestation has us interact with dating like a series of job interviews. We become too attached to finding the man or woman with the “right” set of qualities or circumstances. And in so doing, we diminish a lot of our creative power, and the process becomes more mechanical than magical.

Achieving clarity of desire is a vital part of the creative process. After all, if we haven’t yet identified what we want, how will we know when we run across it, right? But clarity (aka the “soulmate list”) is just the first step in attracting what we want. To bring your soulmate love all the way home, here are 3 additional steps you must be willing to take.

Step 1: Imagine.

This step takes you deeper than simply listing out the qualities and characteristics you’d like your soulmate to possess. Making that list is a great start, but ultimately you want to shift your focus from them back to you. This means going beyond imagining your soulmate’s great attributes, to imagining how you want to feel in their presence.

Let’s look at a concrete example.

Suppose you’re now clear that you desire to be with someone who is confident. Or someone who’s light-hearted. Or hard working. Or honest, or affectionate, or fill-in-the-blank. Just bring to mind whatever quality comes most easily and quickly to mind. Now take your focus off that quality, and focus instead on how being in its presence would make you feel.

If you were with someone who is confident, what inner qualities within yourself would that confidence make available to you? Do you think you’d feel more relaxed, more trusting, more yielding? If you were with someone light-hearted, what aspects of yourself do you believe would flourish? Would their zest for life ignite your own? Would it give you permission to express your funny or silly side?

We all think we’re searching for someone with that perfect combination of attributes. But what we’re really seeking is to feel a particular way. Identify that feeling, and then imagine how your life would be different –in emotional, feeling terms – if you already felt that way.

Step 2: Believe

Right now, your desire to attract your soulmate love is either being allowed by you, or it’s being blocked by you. And the strength of your belief determines which one it is.

Do you believe more in the possibility of attracting your tsoulmate, or is the belief in their absence stronger? You cannot have faith in both possibilities at the same time. And the reality you focus on most frequently and intensely is the one you are in the process of creating.

Here are some mantras to bolster your faith whenever you’re leaning more toward doubt than positive belief:

  • The universe knows what I want.
  • I am worthy of experiencing all that I desire.
  • The one I am looking for is also looking for me.
  • I will recognize what I want when I come into contact with it.
  • I know that things are always working out for me.
  • I have faith in the divine timing of the unfolding.
  • If I haven’t met this person yet, I trust it’s because something within me is not yet ready.

Step 3: Receive

Receiving is the necessary counterpart to asking, and it is a vital part in any process of creation. To attract your soulmate love, you must make yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and energetically receptive to it. From a simple physiological standpoint, you can’t take in anything new if your hand is clenched tightly into a fist. To receive, your hand must be open.

Likewise, in order to attract anything new, more or different than what you’ve already got, you must first make space for it within yourself. And you do this by becoming open to receive.

Soulmate love is very unique, and much more spiritually significant than a typical relationship. Your soulmate will inspire you to bring forth your very best qualities and to access greater levels of joy. To be a match for this person, you must become willing to expand your capacity for abundance in all forms. And this begins with expanding your capacity to love yourself.

Begin or recommit to a daily process of appreciating your most positive aspects. These are the things you love most about who you are – and about who you are becoming. The more things about yourself and your life that you find to appreciate, the more receptive – and attractive – you will be.

Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. For more insights like these on how to create joyous, fulfilling relationships, join her on the Conscious, Connected Coupling Podcast or receive her free online training at