What if I can’t make my relationship better? What if things completely stay the same? What if things don’t improve? We have all these what-ifs in our life, and a lot of times, we’re so focused on what we don’t want or what we’re fearing in our relationships. Your what-ifs don’t have all the right answers, and you can actually change your what-ifs to what you do want. Start using your what-ifs to your advantage as Frederic Gobeil and Christy Whitman teach us how to start looking at our what-ifs towards what we desire and what we want instead of what we don’t.

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Using Your What Ifs To Your Advantage

What if I invest all that money and it’s not worth it? 

What if I asked for what I want and I don’t get it?

All these what ifs. 

Let’s use what if to our advantage. We are talking about what if now. A lot of times, in our heads, we think, “What if I want to go on a couple retreat? I asked my husband and he says he doesn’t want to go. What if you ask him and he says he does want to go? What if I share how I do feel and I’m not heard? What if I go into couples coaching with him and nothing changes?

What if the relationship ends? What if I can’t make my relationship better? What if things completely stay the same? What if things don’t improve?” A lot of times, we’re so focused on what we don’t want or what we’re fearing in our relationships. Fear is driving our what ifs.

Your What-Ifs Don’t Have All The Right Answers

Your what ifs don’t have all the right answers. 

What if you change your what ifs to what you do want? We can either go 1 of 2 ways. We could go, “What if?” and then think of all the things that we don’t want, all the things that could go wrong, all the things that we fear.

All the places that we’re going to be disappointed, we’re not going to have what we want. We can pivot and say, “What if?” Think about our desires. What if your desire came true? What if you invested in the relationship, whether it was time, money, energy and it improved? What if you started dreaming about the places that you wanted to travel? What if you got to create the money to go on those vacations or created the time to do it?

It’s time to start looking at your what ifs towards what you desire and what you want instead of what you don’t. A lot of times in our heads, we think about the what ifs and they’re usually not what we want to ponder. Remember the Law of Attraction, what you focus on expands. What you’re pitting your focus, attention, mindset, thoughts, beliefs, words, actions, all of that matters because all of it is vibration.

You are a vibrational being in a vibrational universe. As you start to catch yourself silently saying to yourself, “What if?” change it to, ”What if my dreams came true? What if I had everything I want? What if I had the most intimate loving relationship with my partner?”

“What if I had all the possibilities in any aspect of my life?” Our brain keeps us in the fear of the what ifs. If you recognize, “This is my brain that’s keeping me in the fear space of what if I can’t have that? What if there’s the possibility of looking at if you can have that?” That’s where you need to do the work. 

We are giving you a little challenge to look at places to be mindful, connected enough with yourself inside of yourself, to think about the what ifs. What have you been what if-ing inside of your own head? What have you been what if-ing about your partner that you don’t even know? A lot of times, we make assumptions. What if I bring this to him and he won’t be receptive? What if he is or what if she is?


Think about what are the things that you’ve been censoring yourself or not expressing yourself in the way you want to and not asking for what you want because you feel you’re going to be rejected because your mind is telling you that what if is going to be a bad thing or there’s something to fear? It’s not going to turn out the way you want. Look at that. Think about those things. Be mindful of that and then as you think of them, shift it to, “What if it turned out better than I could have imagined?”

That’s a question you want to ask yourself if you hear yourself going down that road of, “What if he rejects me?” “What if I tell him who I am and express who I am and he accepts me more love than I’ve ever been? I’m more understood that I’ve ever been.” What if that happens?

Start Changing Your What-Ifs Inside Of Yourself

Start changing your what ifs inside of yourself. As you change your relationship to your what ifs inside of yourself, you’re changing your relationship to everything outside because everything is a direct reflection of what’s going on inside you. That even means those silent conversations that you had yourself that you don’t even tell your best friend about.

It’s the what if’s inside as you are pivoting because everything’s energy. As you’re pivoting that energy to possibilities, potentiality, desires, dreams, goal fulfillment, to the things that you would absolutely love in all aspects of your life, to truly having it all. Start to spend more time thinking about those what if’s.

That’s how you become in the space of creativity. When you’re staying in the space of the what if with all the possibilities, all of what you desire, you become more creative. You then see all of the beautiful aspects of your life that can work, that can be positive for you, that can be beneficial.

That’s true because when you’re in the what if of the positivity, you’re in abundance and you’re aligned. The divine partner that you have, your true-life partner that you have is always looking for growth, expansion. What can we put our hands into and play with? What can we desire and create together? The divine is a creator and it creates through you as an individual container.

When you were in the what if and you’re saying, “What if that doesn’t work out?” your divine self doesn’t think that way. You’re now misaligned. You’re detached from your creative mind, from your divine connection. Spoke when you shift and you’re saying, “What if it worked out better? What if it was fun? What if I receive love? What if I got what I wanted?”

Now, you’re in alignment with your divine self and that energy is flowing towards what you do want. You’re not creating what you don’t want. You’re feeling even more alive because you’re connected with the greater part of who you are. Watch your what if’s. They are hugely important.

Here’s an exercise for you to take away. It takes seventeen seconds to shift the vibration based on Abraham Hicks’ research and takes 68 seconds for the Law of Attraction to shift, to kick in and start giving you a very different vibration. Take your phone out. You are going to say what you want for 68 seconds and you’re going to say all the what ifs towards the positives.

Think of all the things that you would want and more, and you’re going to be surprised what else comes out. What if we went on that amazing vacation to New Zealand? What if we went on another amazing cruise with the kids? What if we took them out of school for a couple of weeks?

What if we went to Bali? What if we went to Austria and climbed the hill that Julie Andrews sang the sound of music on top of that mountain? What if we got to see where the whole thing was filmed in that cemetery? What if we became even more successful than we’ve ever wanted and we got to build a house in silver leaf? What if my mom and dad lived forever?

What if our kids were going to listen to us every time that we ask them to do without any question? 

CCC 36 | What Ifs

What Ifs: It’s time to start looking at your what-if’s towards what you desire and what you want instead of what you don’t.


What if we could have peace and harmony in our life and all of our relationships? What if things always turned out the way we wanted them to? That’s it. Did you do your what if’s? How do you feel? You can’t spend 68 seconds thinking about what you want and how great it would feel and feel bad. If you spend 68 seconds thinking about all the things that could go wrong, you will feel bad. It’s your choice. If you do this every single day for at least 68 seconds, that’s a minute and eight seconds.

That’s not a lot. We’re supposed to brush our teeth longer than that, for two minutes. 

What if you set a timer and you did that morning, afternoon and evening? You revved up your energy by talking about the possibilities, the what if’s in your life and your relationship. What do you think your relationship would do?

What do you think your life would be like? Let yourself be surprised by the outcome in your life. That’s often people need to control what’s going on. Control that fear but let yourself be surprised. Let yourself be engaged into what the universe has to offer it to you.

You have to be a vibrational match to be on that level of surprise and delight in order to receive it. Doing this exercise will help you mean the vibrational place with that. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. We are going to be talking about something that’s important subject and that’s the pain body versus the light body. We have a couple more spots left for the couples retreat in February.

If you are interested in deepening your connection with your partner, taking some time, intimate time in a beautiful place in carefree Arizona, we suggest you go to ChristyWhitman.com/couples.

We hope that you appreciated the what if-ing, the new word that came up out of Christy’s dictionary.


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