You’ve probably been there. A coworker not only blows something completely out of proportion but needlessly involves others as well.
A friend or family member is disappointed by something life has brought them, and somehow concludes you are to blame.
Your spouse or lover reacts with way more emotionally charged energy than a situation calls for.
Logically, you probably understand these reactions are the result of some unresolved issue from the past… but how do you sidestep them? And, even more critically, what if you are the person who finds yourself overreacting?
The first thing to understand about cultivating a drama-free life is that you can’t “get to the bottom” of drama.
What you focus on becomes more.
The powerful Law of Attraction states that like attracts like, meaning like energies will continue to build and become stronger. Drama thrives on more drama. Pain begets more pain. Combatting negativity with negativity is the fastest way to create more of it.
The most important clue about sidestepping drama is not to engage in it in the first place. Trying too hard to be the voice of reason will only result in more noise.
So what can you do when you find yourself becoming (or already engaged in) someone else’s drama?
Here are 4 simple habits for cultivating a drama-free life:
Habit #1: Watch your words – both the words you speak aloud and those you offer in the privacy of your own mind. Language does not just describe reality; language creates reality.
By examining the words you’re using, you gain valuable insight into how you are interpreting any given situation. Words like, “I can’t,” “I should/shouldn’t have,” “I always/never,” “I have to” indicate that you’re already knee-deep in drama.
Another, more direct, way to distinguish this is by paying attention to how you feel.
When you’re engaged in drama with another person, you always feel bad. By definition, being in drama means you’re coming from a lack-based perspective. You’re seeing yourself either as a victim, a persecutor, or a rescuer. In other words, you’re reacting, not responding.
Whenever you feel yourself identifying with one of these roles, disengage before Law of Attraction makes the drama bigger. And the best way to do this is to be mindful of the words you offer both aloud and in your internal dialog. Turn disempowering language into statements of empowerment.
Habit #2: Explore your options.
Have you ever been so fixated on a problem that you couldn’t see a solution right in front of you? This is what it’s like to be mired in drama (someone else’s or our own). Our negative thoughts and feelings blind us to seeing how many options are truly available to us in every situation.
Whenever you find yourself feeling stuck, make a list of at least 10 different ways you could approach the situation.
Even if you don’t have the option of walking away, you can always exercise your right to withdraw your attention. You also have the power to decide how to interpret a situation, and what conclusions to draw from it.
Your point of view is an option.
You can choose to dwell on everything that’s already happened, or to focus on what you now want to create. When you’re willing to give up the mindset of scarcity, you become present to the abundance that’s all around you. And when drama comes into contact with neutrality, it loses all momentum.
Habit #3: Claim Your Power to Choose
Having explored all your available options, you can now choose one in alignment with the outcome you seek.
Every time something unwanted occurs, it brings with it the gift of clarity. If you feel disrespected, you’re clear about wanting more respect. When a relationship is in turmoil, it clarifies how much you value harmony. And when you’ve experienced too much drama or chaos, you’re never clearer about your desire for peace.
Use your innate power of choice to align yourself with the solution you seek, rather than the problem.
Habit #4: Release with Love
The final habit for sidestepping drama is to no longer push against it in resistance.
Trying to control the behavior of anyone other than yourself is a losing battle every time. Do your best to release your own emotionally charged thoughts and judgments. Give up your perspective about what others should do. Let go of your need to be vindicated or validated.
The bottom line…
If you want less drama in your life, leave your drama at the door. If you want peace, bring it with you everywhere you go. When you stop fanning the flames of drama, Law of Attraction will stop bringing it around.
Christy Whitman is an energy healer, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. To understand how to more deliberately co-create the life you desire, visit www.watchyourwords.com and gain access to a free 30-day training.