how to manifest your soulmate

Soulmate love is distinct from the kind of love we experience in any other relationship.  It goes far beyond physical attraction or even mental affinity. Soulmates have a shared destiny and play a huge role in one another’s evolution and expansion. 

If you’re ready to draw your soulmate into your life, know that you are embarking on a significant inner journey.  What you are about to manifest is not just your soulmate, but the very best version of yourself.  

In his iconic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen Covey brilliantly noted, “All things are created twice.  First in the mind, and then in reality.” The process of preparing yourself to meet your soulmate is every bit as important as the meeting itself.   

Think of it this way: You’d spend months imagining and planning the house you want to build before you ever move a single brick.   In the same way, it takes preparation – mental, emotional and energetic – to become a match to the relationship you desire.  

Here are 3 commitments to make now to prepare to manifest the soulmate you’ve been looking for all your life:

#1: Commit to Having Faith.  

Right now, you are putting your faith in one of two future realities:  the reality of finding your soulmate, or the reality of being without him or her.  You cannot have faith in both possibilities at the same time.  And the reality you focus on most frequently and intensely is the one you are in the process of creating.

Every thought you think, every emotion you feel, and every expectation you hold is a demonstration of your faith.  When your faith is aligned with the reality you desire, not the one you don’t, you feel strong and resourceful. And when your faith is compromised, you feel doubtful, pensive and weak. 

Here are some statements you can use to bolster your faith whenever you’re leaning more toward doubt than positive belief:

  • The one I am looking for is also looking for me.  
  • I trust that I will recognize what I want when I come into contact with it.  
  • I know that things are always working out for me.
  • I am worthy of experiencing all that I desire.
  • The universe knows what I want.   
  • I have faith in the divine timing of the unfolding.  
  • If I haven’t met this person yet, I trust it’s because something within me is not yet ready.   

Which brings us to the second commitment. 

#2: Commit to Your Own Becoming 

A soulmate is much more than a companion or lover. They are someone who inspires us to bring forth our very best qualities.  To manifest the soulmate you’ve been looking for, commit to becoming someone you would want to date. This preparation time is the perfect opportunity to focus on being the person you most want to be.  

Imagine that you were given an opportunity to make dinner for your future soulmate. Would you skimp on ingredients or fail to clean up the house?   No. You would invest time, energy and thought into the preparation of that meal. You would infuse your love and caring into every detail of its presentation.  You would be conscious and deliberate about creating an ambiance that reflects who you are.   

So, why would you be any less intentional about cultivating your positive traits as you’d be about preparing a dinner?    

To become a person you would like to date, begin by making a list of your most positive aspects. These are the things you love most about who you are – physically, mentally, creatively and physically.  Do you love your sense of humor? Your way with words? Are you proud of specific talents like gardening or home décor? Focus on your gifts often. The more you appreciate them, the more attraction power they will have.

#3:  Commit to Clarifying the “Why” Behind the “What”

It’s common these days to hear relationship experts advising people to make a “soulmate list.”  This is the act of writing down all the qualities and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner.  But while it’s important to clarify what you’re looking for, it’s far more important to uncover how you want to feel.

Imagine waking up next to this person.  What sensations and emotions are you most excited to feel?  Is it a sense of homecoming or belonging? Or is it passion and adventure that appeals to you most?        

To uncover the feeling that is driving your desire to meet your soulmate, you need only ask yourself two questions:  Why do I want to be with this person?   And, If I were already with him or her, how do I think I would feel?  

There are certain things that you believe you will be able to do, have, and be once you meet your soulmate.  Begin being, doing, and experiencing these things now!  

You don’t need a lover to be in love.  And you don’t need to be with other people to feel deeply connected.  You can be in love with an idea. You can feel connected to yourself, to life, to nature, while sitting quietly in meditation.   The journey of manifesting your soulmate is not about finding someone to love you, or someone to make you happy.  

It’s the journey of you becoming all that you desire to be.   And choosing to be that, right now. 

Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. For more insights like these on how to create joyous, fulfilling relationships, join her on her Conscious, Connected Coupling Podcast at or on iTunes.