Couples MasterClass on January 29th – The 3 Secrets to Creating a Loving and Supportive Relationship

Couples MasterClass on January 29th – The 3 Secrets to Creating a Loving and Supportive Relationship

You Are Invited To The Complimentary Couples MasterClass
January 29th

Are you in a significant relationship?

Of course you are.

Whether we are in a love, work, friendship, relative relationship, those are significant to us and we want them to work, right?

Do you know what holds most people from experiencing the love and support that they are Divinely Designed to create?

I would love to share this information and so much more on a complimentary webinar Frederic, myself and The Quantum Council of Light are having on Wednesday, January 29th at 6pm PT/7pm MT/8pm Central/9pm ET.

CLICK HERE To rsvp and join us on facebook live

We will discuss:
-Why most men are resistance to couples work
-How resistance of previous interactions cause the same non-supportive and fearful interactions to manifest, and what to do about it.
-How to set the reset button in your relationship so that you can return back to the love that once connected you
-How couples coaching is different from therapy
-A simple process you can do daily that takes just minutes so you can let go of resistance and push the reset button.

Take this time for yourself and invite the significant person in your life to join us too.

Date & Time: Wednesday, January 29th at 6pm PT /7pm MT /8pm Central /9pm ET.

Join Zoom Meeting: https://zoom.us/j/897178965 

Dial by your location:

+1 669 900 6833 US (San Jose)
+1 646 876 9923 US (New York)

Meeting ID:  897 178 965

Find your local number: https://zoom.us/u/afjTGOMSI

CLICK HERE To RSVP and Join Us On Facebook Live.

Couples MasterClass – The 3 Secrets to Creating a Loving and Supportive Relationship

WATCH THE COUPLES MASTER CLASS REPLAY BELOW

Are you in a significant relationship?

Of course you are.

Whether we are in a love, work, friendship, relative relationship, those are significant to us and we want them to work, right?

Do you know what holds most people from experiencing the love and support that they are Divinely Designed to create?

I would love to share this information and so much more on a complimentary webinar Frederic, myself and The Quantum Council of Light are having on Wednesday, January 29th at 6pm PT/7pm MT/8pm Central/9pm ET.

Move From Drama To Love >>

We discuss:
-Why most men are resistance to couples work
-How resistance of previous interactions cause the same non-supportive and fearful interactions to manifest, and what to do about it.
-How to set the reset button in your relationship so that you can return back to the love that once connected you
-How couples coaching is different from therapy
-A simple process you can do daily that takes just minutes so you can let go of resistance and push the reset button.

Move From Drama To Love >>

3 Ways To Cure Jealousy From Within

Jealousy has never been a good look.

Ah, jealousy — that green-eyed monster that rears its head anytime we perceive a threat to something we desire or hold dear and keeps us from finding happiness.

Sometimes, being jealous is absolutely warranted. It sounds off like a warning bell, alerting us that an important boundary is being — or is about to be — crossed.

Most of the time, however, our feelings of jealousy are unwarranted — even irrational. They occur not to warn us of an actual threat but to make us aware of the distortion in our own perception.

Freeing ourselves of unwarranted feelings of jealousy is always an inside job. It has nothing whatsoever to do with confronting, changing, or withdrawing from the circumstances that provoked it.

The key to learning how to deal with jealousy involves using those feelings to discover what it is calling you to heal and leads you to a happy life and healthy relationships.

There are three important steps that will guide you — gently and sequentially — to find healing and happiness.

  1. Shift out of the mindset of lack

The first important thing to understand about jealousy is that it can only exist when we are in a consciousness of lack. We perceive that there is not enough of something we want, or that something we love will be taken away.

This perception may be as a result of an old betrayal or emotional wound. It could arise from a limiting belief or insecurity we’re holding as the truth about ourselves or our perception of lack could stem from our interpretation of another person’s behavior.

In other words, what we are making their behavior mean about us.

In every case, the first step to releasing jealousy is to shift our mindset from one of lack to one of abundance and appreciation.

You need to acknowledge that the feeling of jealousy always means one important thing: You care deeply about this person or situation.

Whatever you’re feeling jealous about really matters to you. If you didn’t value it highly, you wouldn’t fear losing it. And, if it wasn’t something you really wanted, you wouldn’t feel the pang of not having it.

This is actually great news! It means there are many positive aspects of this subject that you could choose to focus on. And by focusing on the positive aspects of whatever has evoked your jealousy, you move from fear to appreciation. The energy of fear constricts and, therefore, erodes relationships.

The energy of appreciation encourages every positive aspect of it to thrive, expand, and become more.

Bring to mind the aspects of this relationship that are working well, and that you’d like to maintain and expand. Make a list of all that you appreciate from the past and all that you are looking forward to experiencing in the future.

By exercising control over your own focus, you begin to recover your own personal power.

  1. Take a step back from the story in your mind

The perspective we hold at any moment in time informs the content of our internal dialog. A mindset of jealousy or scarcity will generate thoughts that reflect this, such as “This won’t last” or “All of the good ones are taken.”

Negative emotional states perpetuate negative self-talk and vice versa.

It’s vital that we recognize that thoughts like these are not statements of truth — they’re only stories we’re telling ourselves. But, like self-fulfilling prophecies, these stories may play out in our lives if we feed them with our attention.

The powerful Law of Attraction brings to us evidence of what we expect and believe.

When a feeling of jealousy comes over you, be aware that these feelings will likely inspire a story. These are not necessarily the truth, but they are consistent with the low vibration of jealousy.

To the best of your ability, do not indulge these low-level thoughts, for they will only perpetuate low-level emotions. Instead, distract yourself with thoughts and images that bring you a feeling of relief.

  1. Fill yourself up from within

When jealousy overtakes us, it’s tempting to look to another person for love, validation, and soothing.

If only our partners were more attentive, affectionate, or interested, then we’d feel secure.

If only our boss appreciated our efforts, then we wouldn’t feel so threatened by our colleague’s success.

But seeking even the slightest bit of control over another person’s behavior is a trap. And even if we succeed in extracting more of what we think we need, it doesn’t sustain us for long.

When we view other people as the cause of our happiness or unhappiness, we render ourselves utterly dependent. And, just like any other addiction, we begin to crave more and more of their attention over time.

No one enjoys feeling responsible for the emotional sustenance of another person. At the core of every human being is a passionate desire for freedom. And the most basic of our personal freedoms is the freedom to direct our own attention.

The more attention we seek, the more the other person will naturally and instinctively pull away.

So what’s the solution? Make the powerful choice to fill yourself up from the inside. Decide not to seek validation, attention or reassurance from others, and instead, to give these things to yourself.

Here is a simple 4-step process for filling yourself up from within:

  1. Bring to mind the particular person or situation that is evoking jealousy within you.

Allow yourself to experience fully the feelings associated with it, and to identify the feelings that are the most painful.

For example, “I feel insecure. I’m afraid of loss. I’m afraid of change. I’m afraid this is slipping away.”

Then, take a few deep breaths and let that go.

  1. Imagine the other person involved in this situation giving you everything you believe you need in order to feel better.

Imagine them saying the words you’re longing to hear. See them performing the actions you’ve been wanting them to take. And, now, allow yourself to notice how you believe you would feel as a result.

Would you feel secure? Safe? Reassured? Cherished? Loved?

Try to identify the most significant emotion. How would you most like to feel in relation to this situation?

  1. Imagine a waterfall of beautiful light energy flowing down on you and through you.

And this beautiful energy is alive and sparkling with the feeling state you most want and need.

Let this soak into every pore and fill in every space. Breathe it into your heart. Invite this energy to inspire your thoughts, soothe your mood, and surround you.

  1. Allow yourself to identify one action you can take to anchor this energy within you.

It could be something simple like soaking in a hot bath. It could be planning a night out with an old friend or treating yourself to a movie night at home. Choose something that will bring about the feeling state you’re reaching for.

If you’re seeing signs of jealousy in your relationship — romantic or otherwise — it’s time to take steps to ensure it doesn’t block happiness from your life.

As you take this self-loving, self-filling action to deal with jealousy and learn how to be happy in life, acknowledge that you are the source of your own well-being.

Feel yourself filling up with your own love and regard. By filling yourself up from the inside out, you strengthen your immunity to jealousy.

 

Your Repressed Emotions May Be Ruining Your Relationship (Here’s What To Do About It)

You’re in control of your emotional health.

What do repressed emotions and energy healing have to do with the quality of your relationships and love life? Well, in a word, everything!

Your thoughts can influence your mood and emotional health. And by focusing on energy healing to shift your thinking into positive thoughts, you can also improve your emotional intelligence and make yourself happier in the process.

We’ve all felt it. That sinking, empty feeling that crashes over you after a breakdown in an intimate relationship.

Suddenly, you can’t focus. You have zero control over your emotions. Your mood plummets. And at that moment, it seems that not only is your relationship hopeless, but so is everything else in your life.

So, what happened?

To those who are unaware of how profoundly energy affects your relationships, the answer to “what happened” seems obvious enough: The other person did something that “made” them upset.

The thought process behind this conclusion goes like this: “If you hadn’t said that, done that, or broken our agreement, I wouldn’t be feeling so bad.”

Now, although this is the paradigm that most of the world is living within, it’s far from healthy. And it’s nowhere near accurate once you understand the role that energy plays in relationships. In fact, giving another person the credit or blame for your happiness or unhappiness is the fast-track to misery.

So, if blaming your partner isn’t the solution, then what is?

The path back to joy — and to self-empowerment and emotional freedom — is through energy healing.

Here’s how relationship conflicts can trigger energy imbalances within you, and how you can facilitate your own energy healing.

It may seem a bit off-topic, but think back to a time when you’ve had a splinter or a paper cut on your finger. Every time that finger touched something, even lightly, you felt a jolt of pain, right?

Your other nine fingers felt no pain, but for the one that is slightly wounded, everything hurts.

This is the same phenomenon that sets the stage for your emotional reactions. You have underlying emotional wounds, even some you’re not consciously aware of. And just like a splinter under the skin, that emotional wound creates a sensitivity that wouldn’t be there otherwise.

The real pain in relationships comes not from the other person’s actions, but from your reaction to their actions. It’s not the events that hurt you. It’s the way you interpreted the event, and what you made it mean within your own mind.

And this has everything to do with the past emotional wounds you carried with you into your present relationship.

Imagine you’re dating someone, and your weekly routine is to spend Saturday nights together, just the two of you. But when Saturday comes, with no warning, he tells you he’s going to visit a friend instead.

Now, technically speaking, did his action violate your previous agreement and expectation? Yes, it did. But the reaction you will have to his action is specific only to you.

And the way you react to it has everything to do with the ways you’ve been wounded in the past.

Everyone experiences wounding events early in your lives — and even those that are unintentional leave impressions on your psyche.

You form conclusions and beliefs as a result of those experiences, which you carry inside as emotional wounds or hot buttons.

In the example of a broken date, some people may react with hurt because they make it mean they are unimportant.

Some people will react with anger, believing they are being mistreated or taken advantage of. Others will sulk or sabotage the relationship because their, “I’m not good enough,” belief has been triggered. And some people won’t react at all!

The old saying, “We do not see life as it is; we see life as we are,” applies here. How you interpret any event in your life has everything to do with your perception. And your perception is always filtered through your past experiences.

In other words, it’s not the broken date that’s tearing you up inside. It’s the emotional reaction within you that this action triggered that is making your energy go haywire.

Here are 4 simple steps you can take to use energy healing to improve your emotional intelligence and be happier in any circumstance:

1. Take responsibility

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission.” The fact that one of your emotional wounds has been triggered is not the fault of the person who triggered it!

It is a result of a long-standing emotional wound that has come to your awareness in order to be healed. This energy imbalance is affecting your body and mind, and therefore you have the responsibility — and the opportunity — to heal it.

Until you accept this, you’ll continue to waste energy trying to get others to take responsibility for your feelings. And viewing others as the cause of our feelings is a death blow to even the most promising relationships.

So instead, take your power back by taking responsibility. You can do this easily by closing your eyes, taking some deep breaths, and repeating this mantra:

“This emotion is taking place within my energy body. It is my reaction that is causing me pain; not the other person’s action. And, I have the power to alter my reactions.”

2. Allow the energy to “move”

Emotions are simply energy in motion, and when they become stuck or repressed, your energy body becomes unhealthy.

It’s understandable to try to numb your emotions in order to protect yourself from feeling pain. But this only compounds the imbalance. Repressed emotions block the natural flow of energy, and keep you from easily moving to higher feeling states.

The key is to move your breath or body with the intention of releasing energy. At this stage, you’re not trying to jump from feeling miserable to feeling fabulous all at once. You’re just looking for a feeling of relief.

So, whatever physical activity you take, do it with the intention of feeling an energy release.

3. Decide on the quality of energy and emotion you’d like to experience

And consciously draw it in, too.

For example, you wouldn’t be able to perceive light without the presence of darkness. You could never recognize love if you hadn’t felt hatred. And no experience would ever strike you as painful if you didn’t have the capacity to feel greater joy.

Anything you experience in a relationship that throws your energy for a loop can be used to your advantage. Because, now that you know what you don’t want, you have greater clarity about what you do.

Let’s go back to the example of your S.O breaking a date.

Every contrasting experience moves you in the direction of your evolution. They help you to see who you now are and what you desire to experience.

So, to turn your contrast into clarity, bring to mind the experience that triggered the energy imbalance within you. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, the anger, the betrayal.

Then ask yourself, “How would I like to feel instead?”

4. Commit to generating a positive feeling from within

In the same way, you cannot blame your partner for unhappiness, you can’t look to them to make you happy, either.

You can focus on what you perceive has been lost, or on all that you are now ready to gain.

Where you place your focus is where your energy will flow. And where your energy flows is what you will ultimately create.

Your attention is your most precious resource. Focus on the way you want to feel. Also, focus on the clarity you’ve received as a result of the unwanted experience. And, focus on the appreciation you feel for yourself and your partner.

Learn How to Stay Positive Even When You’re In Relationships With Dramatic People

 

You’re feeling great and flying high… then in walks that one person who always seems to bring you down.  And, just like you expected, your good mood falls apart now that you’re in their presence. 

If you feel too easily influenced by other people’s emotions… Or if you find it difficult to keep your balance when others are acting overly dramatic, read on!  

The fact is, you have the ability to stay positive even when you’re in relationships with dramatic people.  It comes down to understanding and practicing just a few simple principles. Commit yourself to these, and you’ll achieve mastery – not just in your relationships, but in every area of your life.

Principle #1:  What you focus on will expand. 

The powerful Law of Attraction states that like attracts like.  As harmonic energies are drawn together, they become stronger. This means that focusing on or complaining about another person’s drama will only accentuate it in your experience.  Trying to combat negativity with negativity is the fastest way to create more of it.  

So, what’s the alternative?

Deliberately decide at the beginning of each day or each interaction where and how you’re going to focus your attention.  For example, in a work environment, you can choose to focus on your team’s past successes. With your children, you can focus on their untapped potential or on how much you adore them.  Before date night with your spouse, you can mentally run through a list of their most pleasing and attractive aspects. Staying positive, even when you’re in a relationship with dramatic people, is all about intending this ahead of time. 

Even in an unpleasant encounter, you can imagine it ending well, or withdraw your attention from it altogether.  You have the power to direct your focus in ways that replenish you rather than weaken you.  

Principle #2:  Your emotions will guide you if you let them.   

How many times have you found yourself knee-deep in someone’s drama and have no idea how you got there?   Our emotions are guiding us moment by moment along the path of our greatest joy. But often we don’t acknowledge this guidance until the faint whisper of our inner voice has escalated to a scream.  

One of the most valuable pieces of information your emotions can give you is related to your own personal boundaries.  They alert you, subtly and directly, when you’re about to make a choice that is not in your best interest.

When you’re sensitive to your emotional guidance system, you don’t get swept up in other people’s momentum.  You recognize that their emergency does not need to become your emergency. With practice, you will learn to stay connected with yourself – to feel yourself – no matter what’s going on around you.  You can say yes when you mean yes, and no when you mean no.  You can stay positive, even when you’re in a relationship with dramatic people.

Your emotions tell you when the choice you’re about to make will lead to greater empowerment or to greater bondage.    Choose in the direction of what feels best to you.  

Principle #3:  The language you use doesn’t describe reality; it creates your reality.

Words are not neutral.  Both the words we speak aloud and those we ponder in our own minds have tremendous creative power.  Our words reflect back to us our dominant state of mind.  

When you find yourself using words such as “always” or “never…” When you find yourself justifying or explaining yourself… When you’re catastrophizing… And anytime you catch yourself complaining, stop and take a break.  Recognize that in this moment, your words are contributing to a reality that you don’t want to live.  

To use the power of words to your advantage, speak only about what you want, and about what is going well.  Allow only those comments to escape your lips that are positive in nature, and that serve you and your happiness. Give yourself permission to use words that enhance and support the way you want to feel.  

In truth, those who push your buttons are giving you a valuable gift: Their lack of control is showing you that you desire to be a more deliberate creator of your life.  

You don’t need to feel victimized by their bad behavior.  You don’t need to waste your energy pointing out their faults.  And you certainly don’t need to assume the role of their coach, therapist, or rescuer.  You can consciously decide how you want to respond to the dramatic people in your life. And once you show yourself that you have this power, you’ll be truly unstoppable.  

Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited AbundanceFor more insights like these on how to create joyous, fulfilling relationships, join her on her Conscious, Connected Coupling Podcast.

How To Manifest The Kind Of Soulmate You Have Been Looking For All Of Your Life

Soulmate love is distinct from the kind of love we experience in any other relationship.  It goes far beyond physical attraction or even mental affinity. Soulmates have a shared destiny and play a huge role in one another’s evolution and expansion. 

If you’re ready to draw your soulmate into your life, know that you are embarking on a significant inner journey.  What you are about to manifest is not just your soulmate, but the very best version of yourself.  

In his iconic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen Covey brilliantly noted, “All things are created twice.  First in the mind, and then in reality.” The process of preparing yourself to meet your soulmate is every bit as important as the meeting itself.   

Think of it this way: You’d spend months imagining and planning the house you want to build before you ever move a single brick.   In the same way, it takes preparation – mental, emotional and energetic – to become a match to the relationship you desire.  

Here are 3 commitments to make now to prepare to manifest the soulmate you’ve been looking for all your life:

#1: Commit to Having Faith.  

Right now, you are putting your faith in one of two future realities:  the reality of finding your soulmate, or the reality of being without him or her.  You cannot have faith in both possibilities at the same time.  And the reality you focus on most frequently and intensely is the one you are in the process of creating.

Every thought you think, every emotion you feel, and every expectation you hold is a demonstration of your faith.  When your faith is aligned with the reality you desire, not the one you don’t, you feel strong and resourceful. And when your faith is compromised, you feel doubtful, pensive and weak. 

Here are some statements you can use to bolster your faith whenever you’re leaning more toward doubt than positive belief:

  • The one I am looking for is also looking for me.  
  • I trust that I will recognize what I want when I come into contact with it.  
  • I know that things are always working out for me.
  • I am worthy of experiencing all that I desire.
  • The universe knows what I want.   
  • I have faith in the divine timing of the unfolding.  
  • If I haven’t met this person yet, I trust it’s because something within me is not yet ready.   

Which brings us to the second commitment. 

#2: Commit to Your Own Becoming 

A soulmate is much more than a companion or lover. They are someone who inspires us to bring forth our very best qualities.  To manifest the soulmate you’ve been looking for, commit to becoming someone you would want to date. This preparation time is the perfect opportunity to focus on being the person you most want to be.  

Imagine that you were given an opportunity to make dinner for your future soulmate. Would you skimp on ingredients or fail to clean up the house?   No. You would invest time, energy and thought into the preparation of that meal. You would infuse your love and caring into every detail of its presentation.  You would be conscious and deliberate about creating an ambiance that reflects who you are.   

So, why would you be any less intentional about cultivating your positive traits as you’d be about preparing a dinner?    

To become a person you would like to date, begin by making a list of your most positive aspects. These are the things you love most about who you are – physically, mentally, creatively and physically.  Do you love your sense of humor? Your way with words? Are you proud of specific talents like gardening or home décor? Focus on your gifts often. The more you appreciate them, the more attraction power they will have.

#3:  Commit to Clarifying the “Why” Behind the “What”

It’s common these days to hear relationship experts advising people to make a “soulmate list.”  This is the act of writing down all the qualities and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner.  But while it’s important to clarify what you’re looking for, it’s far more important to uncover how you want to feel.

Imagine waking up next to this person.  What sensations and emotions are you most excited to feel?  Is it a sense of homecoming or belonging? Or is it passion and adventure that appeals to you most?        

To uncover the feeling that is driving your desire to meet your soulmate, you need only ask yourself two questions:  Why do I want to be with this person?   And, If I were already with him or her, how do I think I would feel?  

There are certain things that you believe you will be able to do, have, and be once you meet your soulmate.  Begin being, doing, and experiencing these things now!  

You don’t need a lover to be in love.  And you don’t need to be with other people to feel deeply connected.  You can be in love with an idea. You can feel connected to yourself, to life, to nature, while sitting quietly in meditation.   The journey of manifesting your soulmate is not about finding someone to love you, or someone to make you happy.  

It’s the journey of you becoming all that you desire to be.   And choosing to be that, right now. 

Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. For more insights like these on how to create joyous, fulfilling relationships, join her on her Conscious, Connected Coupling Podcast at www.christywhitman.com or on iTunes.