As this quote by beloved author Wayne Dyer suggests, love is truly what makes the world go round!
“Love creates new form, changes matter, and holds the cosmos together beyond time and space. It’s in every one of us. It’s what God is.”
– Wayne Dyer
The experience of falling in love is like being lifted out of a hum-drum existence and into something much greater. When we come together with a soulmate, we connect with a bigger possibility for ourselves and our lives. That’s why it feels so good and so right.
Sometimes the relationship between soulmate continues to grow, expand, and evolve over time. When this happens, the two remain happily coupled for many years, or even a lifetime.
Other times, the form of the relationship must change in order for one or both individuals to continue to expand. So what happens when you fall out of love with your soulmate? Does that mean the connection you once had is gone forever, and there is no more possibility for expansion? Not necessarily. By allowing the relationship to change form, it can continue to be a nourishing and beneficial part of your life.
Here are 3 principles you’ll need to embrace in order to maintain a healthy, on-going relationship with your soulmate:
Principle #1: Recognize this person as a catalyst for your growth, not the source of it.
The good feelings you associated with your soulmate had less to do with them than you may think. The sensation we describe as falling in love is really the experience of coming back into energetic alignment with ourselves. The other person becomes an object of attention that feels great to focus on. In them, we see possibilities for our lives we may never have seen before. Suddenly, we’re inspired; we have more energy and creativity, and we see all things from a fresh perspective. Soulmate relationships awaken us to our latent potential and unrealized possibility. They mirror back to us parts of ourselves we haven’t before seen or have become disconnected from. That’s one of the reasons they’re so attractive.
Given the intensity of the connection, we feel let down – even depressed – when a soulmate relationship loses its spark. But remember that the fire that your soulmate ignited still exists within you. He or she was a catalyst to your connection; not the source or the cause of it. You have the ability to stoke that fire and to keep the flames burning brightly.
You can do this by asking yourself introspective questions, such as:
- Which of my positive aspects did my relationship with my tsoulmate inspire?
- What did I love most about myself as I related with that person?
- What strengths or wisdom do I now possess as a result of our relationship?
Principle #2: Embody the changes you wanted your soulmate to make.
When relationships begin to fall apart, it’s easy to focus on all the things the other person “should” change. If only they were more communicative – or more spiritual, more committed, or more affectionate – the relationship could have continued. But to hold the other person responsible for our falling out of love does two very unproductive, disempowering things. First, it causes us to focus on their behavior, which is something over which we have absolutely no control. And second, it may keep us from making important changes within ourselves.
The qualities, character traits, and behaviors we find the most intolerable in others can provide us valuable information about ourselves. You can use what you perceive as your soulmates shortcomings as a catalyst for your own growth.
If you felt they’re not as committed to their spiritual practice as you would have liked, commit more fully to yours. If you always wished they were more into spending time in nature, spend more time in nature yourself. Start being the person you want to be now. This will free your tsoulmate from your projections, and it will also free you to be the best version of yourself you can be.
Principle #3: Bless your soulmate for the role they played in your evolution.
Falling out of love with someone doesn’t mean we need to negate the positive impact they’ve had in our lives. In fact, to do so is to deny ourselves a valuable piece of our own evolution.
What clarity did your soulmate evoke within you about the type of relationship you now desire? What wisdom or strengths did he or she help you to strengthen within yourself? Acknowledge the many ways your soulmate has contributed to your life, and bless them for the role that they played.
Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. For more insights like these on how to create joyous, fulfilling relationships, join her on her Conscious, Connected Coupling Podcast at www.christywhitman.com or on iTunes.