Think back to the times in your life when you experienced a communication breakdown that left you feeling hurt, frustrated, or confused.  Chances are, the common denominator in each of these scenarios was the absence of a clear agreement.  

Clear agreements are the backbone of effective and harmonious relationships.  Whether you’re creating a successful business or a passionate marriage, clarifying expectations ahead of time is key to preventing later conflict.

And yet, many of us resist taking the steps that are necessary in order to create clear agreements.  Maybe we feel that the important people in our lives should intuitively know – and cooperate with – what we want.  Or, we might think that spelling out all of our expectations will lead to uncomfortable tension.    

But here’s the thing.  Unclear, vague, and broken agreements cause more than a loss of productivity.  They contribute to tension, drama, a breakdown of trust, confusion, and resentment in our personal and professional lives alike.   

From an energetic perspective, the uncertainty caused by unclear agreements introduces static into our point of attraction: Part of us is working diligently toward our desired result. But another part of us is subconsciously aware that not everyone is on the same page.  Clear agreements are both a cure and a preventative for all types of conflict.  

Here are 4 questions to ask in order to create clear agreements with those you love and work with – and with yourself: 

Clear Agreement Question #1:  What do I/we want?

The “what,” in this case, is the end result you’re working toward.  It includes both the fully fleshed-out manifestation, as well as the steps involved in getting there.  

So the first thing you want to come to a clear agreement about is your shared intention to create a desired result.  And you want to state this in such a way that there is no ambiguity about what you’re creating.  Your goal is that anyone you speak your desire to will understand immediately what it is you are agreeing to.  

At this phase of clarifying your agreement, it’s important to gather as much information as you can about the end result you are agreeing to.  What does it look like?  How will all parties involved know that it’s been achieved?   

Understandably, as you seek to clarify your desired outcome, further questions and issues will inevitably arise.  For example, you may discover that to accomplish the goal, you need additional resources.   Take time on the front end to flesh these details out, because all of this is part of the “what” that you are agreeing to. 

Clear Agreement Question #2:  Who will be accountable for what?

The next step in creating clear agreements is deciding who will be responsible for each part of the desired outcome.  

Some of the most beautiful and satisfying creations require some level of collaboration.  Clarifying who is accountable for what – especially when you’re working in tandem – is an essential element to creating clear agreements.    

Who will take the lead role in each aspect of this creation?  What support will that person need in order to fulfill their end of the agreement?   What additional support or resources might be needed?  By clarifying who’s in charge of what, you break the project or desired outcome down into objective, manageable steps.  

Clear Agreement Question #3:  By when will this desire be realized?  

You’ve probably heard the old saying that goals are simply dreams with deadlines.  Unless you assign a date by which your goal will be realized, you cannot come to a clear agreement about its completion.  

The moment you place a desire in the context of time, you summon a greater stream of creative energy to help you realize your goal.  The trick is to make sure that attaching a timeline to your desire inspires you rather than causes you stress.  

A timeline that is too far off in the distance causes us to become complacent or unfocused.  And a deadline that’s looming overhead can shut down creativity altogether.  With each agreement you’re creating, play around with the timeline. You know you’ve hit the sweet spot when it’s close enough to move you into action but far enough away that you can maintain a vibration of ease.

Clear Agreement Question #4:  Why do I want to create this?  

This last question is perhaps the most important to ask when seeking to create clear agreements.  Asking “why” takes you behind the external conditions you’re working toward and into the stream of the very energy you’re hoping to experience.  

Why do you desire to manifest this desire or achieve this outcome?  What will be the benefit of having created this?  What do you hope to gain?  How do you imagine you will feel?   The more you can conjure the energy of your “why,” the more universal cooperation you’ll draw to you.  

When you get to the “why” behind any desire, you connect with the energy of what it is you’re trying to create.   Knowing your “why” will fuel you with the energy and inspiration to continue moving forward.  

These four questions are the pillars of creating clear agreements.  Use them in any area of your life where you’re not manifesting the results you desire to transform conflict and confusion into clarity. 

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Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in aligning with and creating your desires by participating in a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words: Click here to learn more;