The secret to finding love – or anything you desire, for that matter – is to stop looking for it.
It sounds counterintuitive, I know.
But once you understand that vibration is the hidden force orchestrating every manifestation, this makes perfect sense.
By applying these basic Law of Attraction principles, you will naturally become more magnetic to love.
Law of Attraction Principle #1: Like vibrations are drawn together.
In this energetic universe in which we all live, every possible, conceivable vibration exists. Think of this range of vibrational frequencies like shades of light in a rainbow.
At the low, dense, and dark end of the spectrum are energies like fear, hatred, desperation, and shame.
And at the high, light end of the vibrational spectrum are the energies of joy, appreciation, fulfillment, and love.
As human beings, we are energy receivers, containers, and transmitters. And this means we have the power to align with any energy along this spectrum.
So what does understanding vibration have to do with finding love?
Vibration is primary. And where we place our focus, we resonate in harmony with. So, if we’re focused on the absence of something, the vibration of absence becomes our experience. If we’re focused with appreciation on the presence of something, satisfaction, and appreciation grows in our vibrational field.
And this is why the secret to finding love is to stop looking for it.
Law of Attraction Principle #2: The vibration of ‘looking’ and the vibration of ‘finding’ are diametrically opposed.
Think for a moment about the mood or attitude you’re in when you’re actively looking for something you perceive as missing. Almost without exception, it’s accompanied by a feeling of angst or impatience – even worry or despair that you may never find it.
Now, shake that off and in its place, remember what it feels like to have found or created something pleasing to you. This is actually very easy to do!
Simply look around your life and take note of all the wonderful people, objects, situations, and conditions that surround you. And then, beyond simply noticing all your blessings, allow yourself to really drink them in and feel their impact on you.
The fact that you have a roof over your head, items of beauty in your environment, and access to fresh air and sunlight is itself a cause for celebration. That you have money in your pocket, food in your refrigerator, and loving people in your life are blessings not to be overlooked!
Just by taking a few minutes to acknowledge the many blessings in your life, you shift your vibration from looking to finding. You stop looking for love and begin being love. And once you make this shift, you become a magnet for all things you desire.
Law of Attraction Principle #3: The secret to finding love is to acknowledge that ‘wanting’ and ‘having’ are two sides of the same vibrational coin.
The fact is, if it were not for the absence of something, you would never desire it in the first place! Wanting and having are two sides of the same coin. And the same is true with looking and finding.
So the next time you find yourself dwelling in the absence of something, remind yourself of this: the very fact that you desire it is evidence that it exists! By nurturing your desire and believing in it, you feed your creation with life-giving creative energy.
Whenever you catch yourself focused on the lack of something you desire, you can immediately pivot to its presence. You do this by deliberately looking for things that feel good when you see them.
What you’ll begin to notice is that love is absolutely everywhere! It’s in the person who lets you into traffic. It’s in the kind of interaction between you and your child. The secret to finding love is acknowledging that love is who you are, at your very essence.
And in every moment, you have the ability to find something to be in love with, and to make that your point of focus.
Ultimately, the secret to finding love is feeling good about who you are and where you are right now. When this is your inner set point, everything in your external environment will meet you there.
Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in aligning with and creating your desires by participating in a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words: Click here to learn more;www.watchyourwords.com.
This is one of those questions that is at the heart of a lot of different questions. And fortunately, there is one sure compass that will guide you, regardless of the situation you find yourself in.
That compass is your own internal guidance system, brilliantly designed to lead you always toward freedom, abundance, and joy. That, and to let you know when you’re about to make a choice that will leave you feeling taken advantage of.
Your guidance system speaks to you in the language of emotions. Good-feeling emotions like ease, passion, eagerness, and clarity let us know we’re honoring ourselves and moving in the direction of our desires. And on the other hand, when we lose sight of our own best interests, we experience some degree of negative emotion. Trepidation, discomfort, fear, resentment, regret, and indignation are all indications from within that we’re not honoring our inner compass.
So, with this understanding in mind, these 3 energy mastery principles will help you tune into your own inner compass. Attending to each of these steps will ensure you’re not being taken advantage of or swayed in a direction that doesn’t serve you:
Energy Mastery Principle #1: Give yourself permission to make your own alignment your first priority.
So many abandon their inner sense of what feels good and not-so-good for the sake of being polite, fitting in, or not rocking the boat. But this is like throwing away your trusted compass in the middle of a dense jungle!
Being sensitive to your own signals of comfort and discomfort immunizes you against being taken advantage of. Because once you recognize you’re about to deviate from the path of your own highest and best interest, you can make a different choice. It’s only when we’re out of tune with ourselves that we give others the power to determine what’s best for us.
And if in any moment you’re not sure whether you’re hearing your inner voice or not, don’t worry. Simply give yourself permission to delay any decision you are being asked to make until you’re sure you’re in alignment.
Often, we can’t hear our own inner voice because there are too many other competing voices around us clamoring to be heard. Know that at times like these, it’s perfectly all right to take some time out and retreat to a quiet space. Once you’ve had a moment to consider your own feelings, needs, and desires, you’ll know intuitively which steps to take.
Energy Mastery Principle #2: Speak always in favor of your desire, not in opposition to what others want.
This means giving up the need to have others agree with you, validate you, or even to understand your perspective.
It’s not your job to get others to agree with you, and it’s also not your job to prove that their position is wrong. You can avoid a lot of unnecessary stress by simply stating what you want, and not trying to control other people’s actions or reactions.
We waste precious energy trying to get others to see things from our perspective, and we dilute our clarity as well. Your only job is to understand your perspective and to move in the direction of what feels best to you. It is other people’s job to do the same for themselves. Just think of how much easier life would be if we all simply tended to our side of the street.
There is no need to push against what others want or to justify the path you’re choosing by pointing out the flaws in their ideas. Simply advocate for and move in the direction of what you desire and what feels good to you. Remember that what you give your attention to expands. So, give your attention to the outcome you desire to create, then notice and appreciate all the cooperative resources that are aligning to support you. This creates a win-win scenario, where neither party feels taken advantage of.
Energy Mastery Principle #3: Whatever course of action you choose to take, line up with the decision you’ve made.
In some cases, going along with another person’s idea truly is the path of least resistance. To avoid feeling taken advantage of in these cases, align yourself with the positive aspects of the idea so that you make it your own.
The most unproductive thing we can do is to make a decision and then contradict it with opposing thoughts. So instead, lean into whatever choice you’ve made, and listen for feedback from your inner being. Remember that there are no mistakes because you can always make a new choice!
We are always being divinely guided, and all we need to do to expertly navigate any situation is to remove the blocks to receiving our own inner knowing.
Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in aligning with and creating your desires by participating in a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words: Click here to learn more;www.watchyourwords.com.
Is it possible to maintain your good mood and productivity even in the presence of a difficult person? The answer is yes, and the key to success comes from learning to master your own energy field.
Energy mastery is a skill well within our control, but few choose to use it.
What’s common is to allow ourselves to become irritated by other people’s laziness, or on edge in response to other people’s bad moods. In other words, we blame them for the dip in our vibration. After all, if they’d just behave, we’d be happy, right?!
The problem is, when we demand that others change to make us feel better, we give them all the power in our life experience. And in so doing, we’re allowing other people’s vibrations to dictate our own.
You already know that your vibration is the point of attraction for everything that manifests in your life. And this is why it’s of the utmost importance to maintain your own energetic alignment, regardless of how difficult those around you are behaving.
Energy Mastery Tip #1: Acknowledge that you and you alone are in control of your own vibration.
It’s tempting to assign others the credit – and the blame – for the way we feel. But railing against or blaming difficult people for being difficult only introduces more chaos into our own personal vibration.
We have to recognize that the only reason we tense against people and situations that we perceive as unpleasant is because we believe that other people’s energies have the power to influence our energy stream. And it while it may seem true, this is never, ever the case.
What is true is that you can allow someone else’s confusion to negatively affect your clarity. Just like you can allow someone else’s sadness to diminish your happiness. But in every case, you are the one who is choosing. And once you realize this, you reclaim your power to choose differently.
Think of all the possible energies that exist in this world like frequencies that you could tune into, like tuning to a particular channel on TV. You are the one who chooses the frequency, and if you find that the broadcast is no longer pleasing, you can change the channel. This is a lot easier to do once you make the commitment to tend to your vibration in advance.
Energy Mastery Tip #2: Choose your mood, your attitude – and therefore, your vibration – in advance of any encounter.
Before you drag your physical body into any new interaction or experience, make sure your energy body is attuned to the experience you desire to create. In other words, don’t just stumble into a situation or interaction and hope for the best! Rather, take some time before the encounter to get clear on what you desire, and to set the intention to create it.
Say for example that you desire to have an easy and flowing conversation with someone who has a tendency to be argumentative or difficult. By cultivating the energies of joy, expansion, ease, connection and wellbeing within yourself, you invite them to join you in that vibration. The higher you raise your energy frequency level ahead of time, the easier it will be to sustain that high-flying vibration.
Energy Mastery Tip #3: Be willing to distract yourself by any means necessary in order to keep your vibration high.
A lot of people think that their only choice is to grin and bear difficult people – particularly if you work with them or are married to them. But we always have more options available to us than that. Even when circumstances demand that you be in the same room with this person, you still have plenty of options as to where and how you direct your attention.
For example, you could make a mental list of everything in your life that is going well. You could allow your attention to focus on an experience or event coming up that you’re especially looking forward to. You can reminisce on a past event or relationship that was interesting or fun.
By deliberately turning your attention to pleasant things, you separate yourself from unwanted momentum. You stop being influenced by the energy of difficult people, and become masterful at sustaining your own vibration.
And so, while it’s true that difficult people are experts at broadcasting a discordant signal, it’s also true that we can choose to tune into that signal or not. The most effective way to deal with negative or difficult people is to choose to give all of your attention to what is wanted and let go of the rest.
Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in aligning with and creating your desires by participating in a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words: Click here to learn more;www.watchyourwords.com.
Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: www.watchyourwords.com.
Everyday life is filled with opportunities to become emotionally reactive:
You perceive a sales clerk at your favorite clothing shop as rude or dismissive.
Your spouse asks you to be quiet while he or she is on the phone.
Your colleague at work is late in delivering his or her part of a group project.
The events that trigger our emotional reactivity are insignificant. They may be big or small, and they can occur with perfect strangers as well as those you care deeply about.
In fact, anything that hijacks our attention without our conscious choice can trigger an emotional reaction within us. And this is because most of us do not yet understand that we have the power to direct our attention (and therefore our creative energy) on purpose.
What Causes Emotional Reactivity
If you examine the root of emotional reactivity, you’ll discover that it stems from an experience of powerlessness.
We experience ourselves as being at the mercy of those around us. And so, when the people in our lives are appreciating and valuing us, we feel happy. But if they’re short-tempered, preoccupied, or concerned at the moment only with themselves, we have a negative reaction.
This has much deeper consequences than the momentary discomfort of losing our cool. Our emotional reactivity leaves us with utterly no control over the quality of our own life experience.
The following 3-step process will help you restore your energy when something or someone has caused you to react emotionally. And it will also show you how to calibrate your vibration purposefully, so you’re less far likely to lose your balance in the future. By learning to master your own personal energy field, you’ll show up in your life the way you intended: not as a reactor, but as a powerful creator.
Step #1: Acknowledge that because you are the one who is emotionally reactive, you are the one who must rebalance your energy.
While it’s certainly easy to blame our emotions on other people, doing so casts us in the role of victim. It’s far more powerful to accept that, whatever the trigger was, the emotional reaction is ours to deal with. And, because the imbalance is within our own body and mind, we alone have the ability to neutralize it.
Step #2: Use your breath to connect with the core emotion that’s being triggered.
Your breath is the bridge between the physical and non-physical aspects of you. By breathing into the sensations of discomfort in your body, you can often trace them back to one particular, underlying emotion.
For example, if you felt emotionally reactive when your boss didn’t acknowledge you on an accomplishment, take a moment to unpack the feelings that were triggered. Maybe you felt overlooked, unimportant, unworthy, or even unlovable. Allow yourself to breathe into this emotion, even if it seems out of proportion with the situation that triggered it.
Allow yourself to feel the intensity of the emotion fully and completely, without describing or labeling it. Simply be with it with all of your attention, and feel the unique frequency of its vibration. As you grant this feeling permission to exist – and as you embrace it rather than resist it – you’ll notice that it begins to dissipate and release.
Step #3: Having identified the vibration at the heart of your emotional reaction, ask yourself how you’d like to feel instead.
You may not have control over what other people say or do, but you always have control over your response. This means you have the ability to decide how you want to show up in each important aspect of your life. Do you want to drag the same emotional reactivity with you into your next new encounter? Or will you choose to show up embodying the energy of what you desire?
Using your breath, allow yourself to connect to the bottom-line feeling or energy that you’d like to feel in this situation. Is it joy? Confidence? Empowerment? Love? Whatever emotion you’re reaching for, breathe its essence into your heart. Imagine filling up every fiber of your being with this frequency. Allow the vibration of this energy to permeate your entire body and radiate out through every cell of your being. And know that this new frequency will magnetize like energies to it.
In every moment, you have the ability to deliberately choose the direction of your own thoughts. You can decide in advance of each interaction and situation who you want to be and how you want to feel – regardless of circumstance. Begin exercising this basic energetic control over your life, and you’ll naturally find yourself being less emotionally reactive.
Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in aligning with and creating your desires by participating in a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words: Click here to learn more;www.watchyourwords.com.
The urge to move toward what’s comfortable and away from what is not is part of our wiring as humans. But repressing uncomfortable emotions comes at a very steep price.
Limitations, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, and loneliness are just some of the consequences we face when we repress our emotions. We also sacrifice authenticity, as well as the experience of knowing we are loved for who we are – both of which are fundamental to happiness.
Authenticity is the prerequisite for happiness.
Unless we’re being authentic, we cannot experience happiness.
Because if we are not being true to who we are and what we want, nothing we create in our lives can actually satisfy us.
To achieve the happiness we’re all seeking, we must begin by being who we really are. Not the sugar-coated versions we’ve been taught will bring us acceptance, but who we are at our core. And authenticity demands that we make peace with all of ourselves, including our repressed emotions.
We are happiest when we are expressing ourselves freely: when we’re expanding, leaning into new ideas, updating the ways we identify ourselves, and manifesting new experiences. But repressing our emotions causes our experience of life to shrink. We develop aversions and turn to vices. Not because we’re afraid of new experiences, but we’re afraid of the emotions those experiences may trigger within us.
In repressing our so-called “negative” emotions, we simultaneously diminish our capacity for joy. To paraphrase a beautiful quote by Kahlil Gibran, joy and sorrow are two sides of the very same coin. And learning how to embrace both is the secret to living a rich, full, satisfying life.
Here are 3 energy mastery practices to support you in releasing repressed emotions. In understanding and applying them, you’ll not only feel less anxious and reactive, you will exponentially expand your receptivity for all that you desire.
Practice #1: Begin with an Attitude of Self-Compassion
It’s important to begin this process from a foundation of acceptance and neutrality. And the fastest way to get there is by acknowledging that the instinct to repress certain emotions is 100% natural and normal. In other words, you deserve self-compassion, not self-judgment, with regard to the feelings you’re repressing.
In most families, the free-flow of emotions – particularly uncomfortable ones such as anger, fear, jealousy or indignation – is highly discouraged. In fact, many of us were scolded or even shamed for expressing anything but positivity. If you were raised in this way, you probably felt no right to express your more primitive emotions. And, the longer you’ve been in the habit of repressing your feelings, the scarier it can feel to release them.
So begin this process by giving yourself a break. It’s only natural to instinctively brace ourselves against uncomfortable sensations. There may have even been times in your life when you felt you had to conceal your emotions in order to survive.
Just breathe deeply into any resistance, and remind yourself that you’re no longer in that position. That not only is it safe to release your repressed emotions, but it’s vital to both your health and your happiness.
Practice #2: Invite repressed emotions to move through you.
You’ve probably heard the saying that “what you resist persists.” And nowhere does this wisdom apply more than it does in the realm of our emotions.
Pretending you’re not having a negative reaction when you are will not help you transcend your experience. It will only lead to more repression. It’s like putting a smiley face sticker over an empty fuel gauge. You haven’t solved the problem, and you’re more likely to run out of gas at the most opportune time.
So the next time you feel yourself having a strong negative reaction to something or someone, give yourself permission to experience your reaction fully. Breathe into any sensations of tightness or constriction in your body. Ask yourself, “When or where else have I experienced this same emotion?” and allow all the past emotional energy to come to the surface as well.
Emotions are nothing but energy in motion. Repressing emotion obstructs this free-flowing energy, taking with it our vitality, our creativity, and our happiness. But when you invite in and allow yourself to feel your emotional reactions fully, they dissipate all on their own.
Practice #3: Look for the hidden wisdom in all of your repressed emotions.
Our emotions don’t come out of nowhere. They are triggered for very specific reasons and are always trying to lead us toward greater wisdom and expansion.
When we repress an emotion, we may distance ourselves from an uncomfortable feeling, but we also deprive ourselves of its wisdom. It’s like sending the UPS guy at your door away without first receiving your package.
When any emotion surfaces within you – repressed or present-time – acknowledge this as a valuable communication from your inner being. This feeling is bringing with it some vital information that can help you become happier and more authentic. So rather than repressing the feeling and sending the messenger away, do your best to receive its message.
You can do this by closing your eyes, taking some slow deep breaths and simply asking, “What is this emotion trying to show me?” Then become quiet enough to hear the answer.
For example, anger is a natural reaction when one of our boundaries has been violated. Fear or trepidation can alert us to be more aware and mindful of our surroundings. Once we regard our emotions as friends rather than enemies, we can benefit from the wisdom they hold.
All emotions come bearing gifts. Rather than repress them, invite them in, let their energy move through you, and be open to receiving the guidance they offer.
Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in aligning with and creating your desires by participating in a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words: Click here to learn more;www.watchyourwords.com.
