The Quantum Council: On Feeling Financially Controlled
Channeled by Christy Whitman

It’s a common (and utterly disempowering) dynamic that plays out in many different types of relationships: You’re working hard to raise your vibration – in relation to health, career, or finances, for example. And then someone in your life says or does something and suddenly your forward progress comes to a grinding halt.

But do other people actually have the ability to influence our feelings and control our outcomes? This question was recently brought to the Quantum Council, in relation to a spouse’s perspective about money. What follows is the participant’s specific question, along with the Council’s unique insights on the matter.

I feel controlled financially by my spouse and don’t feel I can attract my own money.
What can I do?

To answer this question, we have to begin with an exploration of the notion of control itself.

If someone forcibly restrains you – tying your hands behind your back, for example – they’ve assumed some physical control from you. From a physical standpoint, this person has exerted their power, and as a result, you now have less ability to move.
But can another individual exert power over your thoughts, your perceptions and moods, and, or your ability to create?

Thankfully, the answer to this question is, emphatically, no.

The Incredible Power of Mindset

The ability to direct one’s own mindset is a power that originates 100% from within. Of course, other people can invite us to share their worldview, but we alone choose our mindset. And from our mindset, everything flows.

Mindset determines whether we see the proverbial glass as half full or half empty. It informs whether we think we can or can’t do something. Our mindset can lead us to focus on everything that is going wrong, or to appreciate all that is going right. Mindset determines our perspective, our attitudes, our emotions, and – as a result – the outcomes we ultimately create.

The mindset we bring to each aspect of our lives is incredibly important, and we alone control it. And yet so often we hand this control over to someone else.

The truth is, each of us has the power to direct our attention (and therefore our creative energy) on purpose. But until we understand this, we view ourselves as being at the mercy of those around us. Consider these simple scenarios:

  • If someone compliments you, must you automatically feel flattered?
  • If someone insults you, do you have to become insulted? Or, do you in fact have the power to make a different choice?

Your attitude about money – and about the economy, and your own personal feeling of prosperity – is created by you alone. Your mindset about every subject is like a personal weather system that you carry with you everywhere you go. And if you commit to creating it on purpose, your vibration of prosperity will dominate, even when others are in lack.

The following daily practices will support you in creating and maintaining a personal environment of prosperity.

Practice #1: Decide in advance how you want to feel.
Before engaging in an important event or personal interaction, decide in advance how you’d like to show up. If you were at your very best in this encounter, how would you present yourself? What internal environment would you carry with you into this interaction?

Identify some emotional words—such as confident, clear-minded, strong, or trusting—that describe your ideal internal state. Visualize yourself presenting yourself in this way. Remember times in the past when feeling this way came easily. Use your breath both before and during the interaction to infuse the energy of your choice into the situation. In this way, you set a powerful tone for your own personal vibration. Others will either harmonize with it, or leave your field of influence.

Practice #2: Focus on the energy you’re putting out; not on the energy you’re receiving.
It’s easy to fixate on the attitudes and actions of others, and to use them as an excuse for our own unhappiness. Remember that you are only in control of the energy you send out. Exercising this control is the key to personal freedom and empowerment. Decide for yourself that your experience of abundance, wellbeing and prosperity is an inside job, and commit to tending to it regularly.

Another way of saying this is to give up, once and for all, any attempts at trying to change or uplift those around you. Not only is this not your job, it’s not even possible.

Focus on the person you are being when you interact with others; not the person you wish your partner would be when they interact with you. This single step places you back in the driver’s seat of your own life.

Practice #3: Consciously work on improving your relationship with money.
The quality of your relationship with money is the result of a few important factors. It’s determined by the thoughts and beliefs you most frequently hold about it. It’s influenced by the words you speak when you talk about it. Your relationship with money is either enhanced or diminished by the choices you make in relation to it. And, most important, your relationship with money is reflected in the way that you feel about it in the privacy of your own heart and mind.

The great news is that in every moment you have the power to make your relationship with money more prosperous and fulfilling. And all that’s required is to place more of your attention on the presence of it than on the absence of it in your life. Like all things, money is simply a form of energy.

Love is energy. Happiness is energy. So is satisfaction, fulfillment, ease, clarity, creativity, freedom, and every other joyful positive emotion we have the capacity to experience. And fortunately, we live in a universe where there is an abundant, unlimited supply of all of these energies. But the direction of our focus is what determines how much we allow ourselves to receive. Appreciate the energy of abundance that exists within you in the form of love, vitality, creativity and curiosity.

Your relationship with money is yours to create and yours to improve. Align your energy with the feeling of prosperity you desire, and prosperity in all forms will be drawn to you. This is law.