Self-Compassion Is a Critical Skill

We’ve all made mistakes.  Most of us probably have some regrets.  And no doubt, we have goals that are as yet unrealized.  In short, in some areas of our lives, there is a gap between what we desire, and the reality we live day to day.  The question is, will we – in this moment, wherever we now stand – treat ourselves with self-criticism or with self-compassion?   

How you answer this question determines whether you’re free to create a more satisfying future, or destined to recreate the past. 

The New Year is usually a time when we seek to rewrite personal narratives and reinvent ourselves anew.  Yet we simply can’t create a bright new future if we’re still dwelling in the energy of the past.  Remember, the energy you surround yourself with – in both your inner and outer worlds – manifests as the life experiences you attract.   

Why Self-Compassion is Key to Positive Attraction

The people, situations, and experiences that come into our lives are always a perfect vibrational match to the frequency that we’re sending out.  And our frequency is formed from the thoughts, beliefs, conclusions, and feelings that we harbor within our own hearts and minds.   Even if we never voice them, our opinions about ourselves are conveyed silently but powerfully throughout the universe.   

Consider the huge difference between the energy of self-judgment from the energy of self-compassion.   One diminishes our power, creativity and self-worth, and the other soothes us back into full connection.  

The universe does not respond to our words, it simply reflects and returns our vibration.  All that we manifest and don’t manifest into our lives is governed by this process of attraction.  Put simply, the experiences we manifest from a vibration of self-criticism are drastically different from those we manifest from self-compassion.   When we beat ourselves up over past mistakes, we transmit a frequency of regret and discontent.  Self-compassion is the powerful antidote that frees us from this energy and allows us to live powerfully into a new future.  

Here are 3 steps for transforming the low-frequency energy of self-criticism into the receptive, attractive energy of self-compassion:

Step #1: Watch your words.

In this vibrational universe, we humans are like living, breathing radio towers.  In every moment, we are broadcasting a signal that either magnetize or repels the love and happiness we seek.  And the words we speak – both aloud and silently – carry energy that reverberates into every aspect of our lives.   

Like water, thoughts run in energy streams and currents.  Some us down to the depths of despair while others lift us to higher realms of possibility.  By virtue of our thoughts and words, each one of us creates our own downward – or upward – spirals.  

Make the powerful decision to become responsible for the energy you dwell in, and therefore the energy you attract into your life.  Do not allow negative thought currents to sweep through your mind and take up residence in your energy field.  And if a self-critical thought does enter your mind, practice self-compassion and don’t speak it.  Become as picky about the words you allow to cross your lips as you are about the food you eat.       

Use your words to express your appreciation, and to acknowledge all that is going well.  When you catch yourself in the middle of a negative rant, compassionately shake it off, and try again.   

Step 2:  Focus on the gifts and blessings of your so-called “mistakes.”

No situation, event, or circumstance is ever without its blessings, because every life experience has the potential of serving us in some way.  There are positive aspects even an experience as seemingly unwanted as going into debt.  We just have to be willing to look for them. 

Instead of resenting the credit card bill, you could appreciate the fact that the credit was available to you when you needed it.  Rather than feeling regret about having gained a few pounds, you could feel grateful that you’re well-nourished and provided for.  Likewise, you don’t need to beat yourself up for the time you spent in a relationship that didn’t ultimately work out.  You could instead focus on the clarity you’ve gained and the strength you now have as a result of it.  

Step 3:  Put your newfound clarity into action.

Start by making a list of all the ways you’ve grown as a result of your so-called “mistakes.”   How have you grown from the experience?  In what ways are you now unrecognizable from the person you once were?   

Think in terms of the qualities or personality traits that are now more accessible within you.  Are you stronger?  More resilient?  Do you have more clarity or tolerance?  The moment you acknowledge the gifts of any “mistake,” you transform any self-criticism into self-compassion.     

Review the list of qualities that are now stronger and more accessible within you.  And now ask yourself how those qualities could be put into action. For example, if you’ve become more resilient in the past year, in what ways could you continue to practice and celebrate that resilience?  By taking action, you not only celebrate your own personal life.  You also silence the voice of self-judgment and strengthen your muscles of self-compassion.  

The Desire Factor Bonuses

Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her forthcoming book The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is available for pre-order now at She communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here:

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