self-love is the key

Self-love is the key to manifesting all of your desires, big and small.  In fact, unless you’ve developed a loving relationships with yourself, you’ll deflect the things you most want to create in your life.   

There is a connection between self-love and receptivity, and to manifest your desires, you must be open to receive.    

The relationship we have with ourselves sets the tone for the level of fulfillment we experience in every aspect of our lives.  It influences the jobs we take and the level of income we earn.  It determines how well or poorly we tend to our physical and emotional needs.  And of course, our level of self-love is reflected in our personal relationships.  

Self-love and receptivity go hand and hand.   Unless we love and accept ourselves, we can’t receive all the abundant blessings the universe tries to lavish upon us.  Self-love is the key to letting in the love, prosperity and fulfillment we desire to populate within our lives.  

What Self-Love is Not

It’s important to understand that self-love is not the same as vanity or arrogance.  Vanity and arrogance are rooted in fear and insecurity. They are ways we puff ourselves up to overcompensate for feelings of unworthiness or insufficiency.   Self-love is simply honoring ourselves, cherishing ourselves, and respecting ourselves for the miracle that we each are.  

You are connected to the life force that creates all things, and there is no limit to what you can create.  But you have to know this – and claim it – in order to benefit from this Divine birthright.  And this is why loving yourself is vital to manifesting your desires.    

Self-love comes from recognizing that we are an inseparable part of the source energy that breathes life into all things.  And when we do, all that we desire begins to flow in on that stream and into our lives.  

Here are 3 self-love keys that will increase your receptivity to all the good you desire to create in your life:

Self-Love Tip #1:  Release yourself from the past.  

Feelings like resentment, disappointment, unworthiness, jealousy or self-doubt carry extremely low-vibration energy.   To the extent that we allow ourselves to dwell on what we perceive as a painful past, we will continue to hold ourselves vibrationally apart from all that we desire.  

To release this energy, focus on the clarity that ultimately came out of each of your past experiences.  How many times has something initially disappointing led you to something truly wonderful?  What wisdom do you now possess as a direct result of all your past experiences?  

By focusing on the clarity you now have as a result of what you have lived, you’ll raise your vibration, drastically improve the way you feel, and strengthen your positive attraction power.    

Self-Love Key #2:  Decide that you are willing to love yourself as the universe loves you.

To love yourself, you first have to decide that you are worthy of love.  And if you deprive yourself of your own acceptance, nothing you create will truly satisfy you.  

A lack of self-love is what causes people to search for happiness, acceptance and validation from external sources. Not only is this exhausting, but other people register your deficiency on an energetic level, which repels the very outcomes you’re seeking.   

So declare that you are worthy of your own time and attention. And commit a certain amount of time each day to doing just that.  

Use the time you’ve set aside to give yourself whatever you most need in that moment.     Meditation, journaling, quietly listening to music, dancing, hot baths, getting a massage or even sitting in the sun or taking a walk in nature are all excellent self-loving practices.  The main idea is to go within, ask yourself what you need, and then lovingly provide that for yourself.  You’ll build trust in yourself the same way you build it in all relationships: through listening, genuinely caring, consistency, and generosity of giving.  

Self-Love Key #3: Turn to your built-in guidance system to assess how open you are to receive.

We are all born with an emotional guidance system that allows us to decipher vibrations of receptivity or resistance.  And with a little practice, you can learn to calibrate your vibration to magnetize any outcome you desire.  

So how can you tell if you’re open to receive?  Easy! Your thoughts are high-flying, your mood is good, and you feel fabulous when you contemplate the object of your desire.  You’re receptive, so you recognize the opportunities, the ideas, and the faint clues the universe is always providing for you.  

Self-doubt and self-criticism reside on the resistant, closed-down side of this spectrum.  If thinking about your desires brings up feelings of discouragement or self-doubt, there’s a tug-of-war taking place within you.  A part of you desires to experience more, but another part of you feels unworthy of having it.   To heal this split in your energy and return to a state of self-love, all that is necessary is a shift in perception. 

With your eyes closed, simply ask yourself, “How does the universal source which breathes life into all things think and feel about me?  And notice that the universe feels no doubt, no unworthiness, no negativity. 

Only enthusiasm and passion about who you are and all that you desire. Use your breath to experience these feelings fully. Allow the divine perspective to penetrate your mind, your perceptions, your expectations. 

Your inner guidance system will always let you know when you’re in a state of self-love and receptivity.  Because self-condemnation always feels bad, and self-love always feels good.  And, thanks to the power of your own free will, you always have the choice on where to focus your attention.  

At any moment you can choose to bring the vibration of your thoughts, feelings and expectations up to speed with the vibration of your desire.  The more love you feel toward yourself, the more love, abundance and success you will attract from the universe.   

It’s all about improving your relationship with you.

Unless we’re on good terms with ourselves, it’s just impossible to be on good terms with life.  It doesn’t matter how admiring those around us are.  If we’re not in a receptive state, even the most sincere gestures of love and appreciation bounce off of us.  

Unless we’re rooted in self-love, aware of, and attentive to our needs, we can’t feel loved or happy. 



Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships.  You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: