Most of us relate to our unfulfilled desires as goals looming out in the future that we’re slowly making our way toward.  But when you understand the world of energy, you realize just how inaccurate this paradigm is.  In the realm of energy, past, present and future all co-exist.  And this means that in every moment, there are actually thousands of possible future realities that you could manifest.  And you have a right-now, present-time relationship with each one of your desires.  

The first step to manifesting any desire is to improve your relationship with it.  This is to say, to deliberately flow loving energy toward it, rather than the energy of doubt or angst.  In this way, you strengthen the quality of your relationship with your desire and magnetize it more quickly into your experience. 

Nurturing the inner relationship between you and your desire is like developing any other friendship.

The idea that you have a real-time relationship with your desires may sound strange or esoteric.  But really it’s no different than the relationship you share with the important people in your life.  Which is to say, the more you nurture it with you time and positive attention, the more it thrives.  

Think of someone who’s extremely important to you – your child, for example, or a coworker, friend, or your spouse. What you will discover is that you actually carry a piece of this person’s energy with you wherever you go. Your internal relationship with them exists – whether you’re currently in the same room or thousands of miles apart.  And the reason you have a relationship with this person is due to all of the energy you’ve invested in it. 

You’ve spent time contemplating your relationship with this person even when you’re apart.  You’ve imagined your future together and recalled positive feelings you’ve shared together in the past.  And most of all, you eagerly anticipate all the positive experiences you’ll share with them in the future. And all of this has contributed to the quality of the relationship you now have with this person.  

Now just imagine for a moment that the opposite was true of the connection between you and this person. 

That instead of infusing your connection with this person with positive energy, you regularly thought about them in negative ways.  Instead of looking forward to enjoyable experiences in the future, you doubted whether you’d ever see them again.

How healthy would any relationship be if we routinely fed it with the energy of sadness or doubt?  And yet how often do we pollute the purity of our desires with this same low-level energy? 

Here are three fundamental skills that will support you in nurturing your inner relationship with your desires.  Practicing these just a few minutes each day will raise your vibration from doubt to positive, joyful expectation. 

Step #1 to strengthen your relationship with your desires:  Imagine. 

The first skill is being able to imagine your future desire as a fully formed reality.  You want to imagine it so vividly that you have a full sensory experience of it as already manifested.     

At this stage, allow yourself to dream as big and as freely as you can.   What do you really want to create and experience in each important aspect of your life?  

For now, try to release any preconceived notions of what’s possible and laser in on the purity of your desire.   In other words, give yourself permission to become more of a visionary than a realist. 

To strengthen the inner relationship between you and your desire, allow your imagination to run wild.

  • Do you imagine a future in which you are enjoying extraordinary physical wellbeing and stamina?
  • Do you desire to have easier access to your creativity or a more plentiful stream of great ideas?
  • Are you seeking greater financial prosperity, or to broaden your impact in the world?

Set aside your doubts for the time being and give yourself permission to be a visionary rather than a realist.  A visionary is someone who gives more credence to the power of imagination than the limitations of any present circumstance.  And when you have the courage to be a visionary, new possibilities and resources reveal themselves.  Allow yourself to engage your imagination to the fullest.  

Now that you have a clear vision of the reality you desire, the second part of the process is to “connect” with that vision.   

Step #2 to strengthen your relationship with your desires:  Connect. 

The second step is developing the ability to connect with your desire.  You want to invite its energy into your heart and mind.  The idea here is to feel in your body what it will feel like when your desire comes to fruition.   

Imagining uses the mind and intellect to strengthen your connection to your desire.  Connecting with your desire takes your relationship with it into the powerful realm of sensation and emotion.  

So just intend in this moment to become energetically aligned with the reality of your desire.  Feel your body in its balanced and ideal form.  Breathe into the sensation of clarity and free-flowing creativity.  Conjure the feeling of freedom of choice that comes with unlimited streams of income.  Allow your energy field to resonate in harmony with all that you desire.     

Step #3 to strengthen your relationship with your desires:  Expect

The third and final step is to expect that the reality you desire to create is already in the process of unfolding.  Cultivating a positive expectation is part believing and part focus.  First you need to believe that what you want is possible and that you are deserving of having it.  The second aspect is engaging your power of focus to scan for evidence of things moving in the right direction. 

To begin to cultivate a more positive expectation about your desire, keep a notebook of positive aspects. 

Make note of everything that is lining up in your favor, and of all the actions you’re taking that support your desire.  Reading this list daily will calibrate you in the direction of the success you seek. 

Remember that you are engaged in an intimate relationship with all that you desire.  And in order for any relationship to grow, it must be fed and nourished. The way you nourish your relationship with your desire is through your loving attention, imagination, and energy. Rather than giving in to doubt or insecurity, allow yourself to imagine, to connect, and to expect great things.  


Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her book The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is available to order with special bonuses now at She communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: