turn self pity into self compassion

Self-pity not only feels awful, but it’s one of the most disempowering energy frequencies we can attune ourselves to.  Because when we’re caught in the loop of feeling sorry for ourselves, we deprive ourselves of the ability to create anything better or different.  But once we know how to turn self-pity into self-compassion, we break this negative spiral and can begin pivoting toward what we desire.


It’s no secret that sometimes in life, things just don’t go our way.  A flight gets delayed and we miss an important meeting.  A relationship we value is going through a rough patch.  We suffer a major loss – physically, socially, or financially.  


In times like these, when we’re face-to-face with an unwanted reality, we have a critical choice to make.  We can compassionately acknowledge what’s so, and in so doing, set ourselves up to recreate the situation more to our liking.  Or we can spiral into self-pity and continue to attract more of what we don’t want.  


Whenever we’re in self-pity, we are negatively attracting.


Consider the huge difference, in vibrational terms, between the energy of self-pity from the energy of self-compassion.   One diminishes our power, creativity, and self-worth, and the other soothes us back into full connection.   When we’re finding fault and beating ourselves up over past mistakes, we’re transmitting a frequency of regret and discontent.  If we’re feeling down in the dumps and defending how it’s out of our control, we’re actually diminishing our power to change the situation.  


Feeling sorry for yourself is like listing all of your limitations, over and over, on a chalkboard.  And the more we assert, focus on, and argue for them, the more attraction power they gain.  Self-compassion is like a magic eraser that brings your energy field back to a neutral state.  Choosing self-compassion over self-pity is like pushing a reset button.  And from this place of neutrality, where we have simply accepted what’s so, we can begin to turn our attention toward the future.  We can use the contrast of what we’ve just experienced to clarify what we desire to experience next.  


The following energy mastery practices will help you turn self-criticism into self-compassion:


To Turn Self-Pity into Self-Compassion, Watch Your Words.


In this vibrational universe, we humans are like walking, talking energy transmission towers.  In every moment, we are broadcasting a signal that either magnetize or repels the outcomes we most wish to create.  And the words we speak – both to ourselves and aloud – carry energy that reverberates into every aspect of our lives.   


Our thoughts run in energy streams and currents that carry us in a particular direction, like water.  Some thought currents drag us down to the depths of hopelessness, while others lift us to broader perspectives and new possibilities.  In other words, by virtue of our thoughts and words, each one of us creates our own downward – or upward – spirals.  


So, to turn self-pity into self-compassion, become as picky about the words you speak as you are about the food you eat.  Don’t allow negative thought currents to sweep through your mind and carry you into unpleasant places.  By offering yourself compassion rather than speaking in opposition to what you desire, you diffuse the unwanted momentum.  


To turn self-pity into self-compassion, look for the gifts in every situation.  


No situation, event, or circumstance is ever without blessings, because every life experience has the potential of serving us in some way.  But, to find them, we have to be willing to actively look for the positive aspects.     


Instead of resenting the hefty utility bill, you could just as easily give thanks for the easy access to water and electricity.  Rather than feeling regret about having gained a few pounds, you could choose to appreciate that you’re well provided for.  Likewise, you don’t need to beat yourself up for the time you spent in a relationship that didn’t ultimately work out.  You could instead focus on the clarity you’ve gained and the wisdom you now have as a result of it.  


Where you place your focus has everything to do with what you attract.  


To turn self-pity into self-compassion, remember that you cannot give away what you yourself don’t have. 


We get ourselves into an energy deficit when we try to give away more than we have at any moment in time.  And this is especially true when it comes to giving compassion.  In any situation you find yourself in, remember that by only giving yourself compassion first, will you be in a position to extend it to others.  


So, in any relationship dispute, before empathizing with another’s point of view, make sure you’ve connected with your own.  Take some time to settle your mind, connect with your breath, and feel the flow of your own energy.  


You turn self-pity into self-compassion by simply being willing to notice what is. Your own attention, directed inward, is like a healing balm that calms your energy and provides access to broader perspectives.  


When you tend to your own energy first, you can easily make the shift from self-pity to self-compassion.  And as you do, you bring stability, generosity, and abundance-consciousness into every dimension of your life.




Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships. You can take the first step in aligning with and creating your desires by participating in a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words: Click here to learn more; www.watchyourwords.com.