How do you explain the extra interest or resonance you feel when you meet certain people?  The answer to this question lies in understanding the powerful attraction that exists between soulmates.

There are 4 main characteristics that make soulmate relationships distinct from all other types of relationships.  After exploring each of these qualities, you’ll understand why the attraction between soulmates is so powerful. And you’ll be able to use this understanding to your benefit.

Characteristic #1:  Twin Soul relationships are magnetic, meaning they can both attract and repel.  

A tsoulmate connection can occur as inexplicable, positive pull that you feel toward someone.  This attraction could take the form of instant sexual chemistry or a strange sense of familiarity.  Maybe it’s an overwhelming feeling of curiosity about this person and a desire to get to know them better.  

But just as often, these powerful relationships begin with a genuine feeling of discomfort or even revulsion.  

Hate is not the opposite of love, and revulsion is not the opposite of attraction.  Both are magnetic forces that act upon us in powerful and often unconscious ways. But one thing you’ll never feel with a soulmate is indifference.  Whether you are magnetized to them by how much you love them or hate them, they get your attention.

Think about the mentor who pokes and prods you to the next level of mastery in your field.  Or the family member who refuses to buy into your limiting story and demands greatness from you instead…  

Oftentimes, those who frustrate, antagonize or exasperate us are also soulmates.  Something about them causes unrest within us. And surrendering to the evolution they trigger within us is the only way to regain our balance.    

Characteristic #2: Soulmate relationships awaken us to our latent potential and unrealized possibility.

Whether you view them as an enemy or ally, your soulmate will awaken something deep within you.  Perhaps being with them alerts you to aspects of yourself that you’ve previously repressed or denied.  Or maybe this person embodies a particular quality that your soul is ready to express. But it’s not just that you admire this person’s qualities.  Their positive qualities awaken you to a possibility for who and how you can be that you’ve never seen before.

Your soulmate holds a piece of your future – that’s why you’re so attracted to them.  Acknowledge this, and accept the information as a gift.

Characteristic #3:

Soulmate relationships are divinely inspired, not personality or ego driven.  

Ego driven relationships are built primarily around external circumstances:  We choose partners because of their physical stature or financial status. And we look for conditions in others about which we can have a good-feeling response.   

In these relationships, both partners tend to favor the status quo, and individual differences are seen as threatening.  If one half of a couple begins to focus on his or her individual growth, the relationship may start to unwind.

In contrast, most twin soul relationships may actually erode our ego personality, but will inspire our spiritual growth.   

A soulmate will act as a catalyst for your spiritual growth – and you to theirs.  Chances are your relationship will be tumultuous at times as you navigate your shared and individual journeys.  Remember that your first responsibility is to find harmony, peace, and alignment within yourself. And, if taking your own path of least resistance results in a temporary or long-term uncoupling, have faith in this process.


Characteristic #4:  Soulmate relationships may break apart and come back together many, many times.  

This is the kind of relationship that just won’t go away, but keeps resurfacing in new forms over time.  This is because as you evolve, you find more points of dissonance between you and the connection diminishes.  But as you continue to evolve together, you eventually find more points of harmony as well.

As a result, those with a soulmate connection may split apart and come back together many times.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, and it’s usually not the result of game playing or manipulation. We break apart because we aren’t yet ready for the growth that our togetherness would demand.  It’s true spiritual ambivalence. A part of us is ready for the challenge, and a part of us is terrified by it.

When conflicts arise, time alone provides an opportunity to reassess what’s really important to us in partnership.  If your relationship feels too painful to continue, it may be a sign to release some old emotional baggage.

Whether you run away or they do, know that the separation is not personal.  It doesn’t mean the relationship is over; it just means there is more growing to do.   

Surrender to the ebb and flow of this relationship.  Know that it is always leading you in the direction of your own growth.  It is your readiness for or resistance to that growth that will determine how joyful or miserable the ride.

If you are ready to stop constantly worrying about this soulmate relationship and step into your power, our meditation for owning your power can help you!


Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. For more insights like these on how to create joyous, fulfilling relationships, join her on her Conscious, Connected Coupling Podcast at or on iTunes.