How Increasing Your Emotional Intelligence Can Help You Feel Better Now

How Increasing Your Emotional Intelligence Can Help You Feel Better Now

Emotional intelligence is a concept that gained popularity decades ago and is now experiencing a resurgence. As a collective consciousness, we are finally understanding the important correlation between emotion and vibration.  

Many of us never learned the principles of strengthening our emotional intelligence.  In fact, lots of us were taught to ignore, suppress, or hide our feelings.  When we felt our feelings, we were often told things like, “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.”  We disconnected from our emotions in order to please others.  And in so doing, we diminished our own emotional intelligence.   

Here are 3 important components of emotional intelligence that can help you to raise your vibration and feel better now. 

The first component of emotional intelligence is understanding that emotions are simply energy in motion, and allowing that energy to move.

Scientists and spiritualists agree on at least one thing – that everything in the material world is made of energy.  Everything is energy, and this is especially easy to understand when it comes to our emotions.   The reason some emotions feel wonderful and some feel awful has only to do with how fast the energy is moving.  

At the high-flying, good-feeling end of the spectrum, we experience emotions like possibility, certainty, enthusiasm, empowerment, and ease. And at the low end of that continuum are negative emotions like sadness, fear, discouragement, or frustration.   Granting our full range of emotions the right to exist is the first step to building emotional intelligence.  And, since most of us were taught to suppress our emotions, accepting them requires a bit of un-learning.   

Rather than resisting bad-feeling – or so-called “negative” – emotions when they arise, simply allow them to be.  

Emotions are energy, and energy must be allowed to flow.  If you try to repress or numb a painful emotion, its energy doesn’t just go away. Instead, it can manifest as excessive weight, as a headache, a skin eruption, anxiety, or chronic low energy.   It’s much wiser to simply allow your emotions to move through you, in real-time, at the moment they arise.  

Developing emotional intelligence doesn’t need to be an arduous process.  The next time you notice an emotion welling within you, take a moment to sit with it.   Close your eyes, deepen your breath, and become sensitive to the sensation.   Lean into the feeling rather than recoil from it.  

Feel the whoosh of energy that courses through you when you feel angry or afraid.  And simply be with this energy without getting caught up in the mental dialog of what provoked the feeling or whose fault it is.  You don’t need to attach a story to it, or use anyone else’s behavior to justify the way you’re feeling.  Just be with the emotion as an energy.  Do your best to welcome it.  Every emotion brings with it a powerful message that will benefit you, if you’re open to receiving it. 

The second component of emotional intelligence is understanding your emotions as guides. 

You now understand that different emotional states correspond with varying frequencies of vibration. When your emotional state is high, this means your vibration is also high.  And in this high-flying, resistance-free state, you are receptive and magnetic to the experiences you desire most.  In other words, your emotions are guides that in every moment let you know the vibration you’re offering.  Emotional intelligence is realizing when you’ve disconnected from yourself, and also knowing what to do to reconnect.   

So, the next time you feel that whoosh of energy we call anger, allow it, then seek its underlying message. 

Anger often arises to let us know we’ve allowed someone else to cross an important boundary. Or, it may surface as a signal that we’re overextending ourselves and neglecting our own self-care. 

In every case, our emotional intelligence is always available to guide us back into balance. We simply need to be willing to receive and act on the messages it provides.    

The third element of emotional intelligence is being sensitive to the early, subtle fluctuations in energy.

You do not need to wait until you’re enraged with anger or paralyzed by anxiety to utilize your emotional intelligence. In fact, once the momentum of these emotions is moving at that rate, it’s much harder to interpret their messages. 

With practice, you can become sensitive to the most subtle shifts in your energy field.  You can actually learn to adjust your vibration before your emotions get out of hand.

Emotional intelligence is about understanding that your vibration always follows your focus. If you’re focused on hardships, betrayals, past disappointments or troubling news, your vibration (and your emotions) will let you know.  And just as easily, you can redirect your focus to things that stabilize and uplift your vibration.  

With this self-awareness, you’ll begin to notice the exact moment your emotions begin to dip into that not-feeling-good place.  Your clarity will waver, or disappear completely.  Your mood will falter, or a sense of heaviness will come over you.  Thoughts of worry or guilt may nestle themselves in your stream of consciousness.  Don’t allow these things to take root. Welcome them and receive their wisdom in the early subtle stages, so you can expertly and swiftly make a shift.  

 

 

Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships.  You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: www.watchyourwords.com.

 

3 Energy Mastery Secrets to Raise Your Vibration

The secret to improving any aspect of your life lies in learning how to raise your vibration. 

First, here’s a quick refresher on what vibration is, and how it forms the basis of everything you experience and create.

As human beings, we are both energy transmitters and energy receivers.  This means, we’re constantly generating a vibration that is broadcasted to the far corners of the universe.  And what comes back to us in the form of our life experiences always matches the vibe we’re sending out.  

The thoughts you think generate a vibration and place you in energetic proximity of other similar-feeling thoughts.  Likewise, the beliefs you hold carry a certain vibration. And these beliefs make you more likely to attract experiences that confirm what you’ve already concluded to be true.  Your chronic moods, emotions and attitudes also become a vibrational habit or set-point that you return to time and time again.  

What most people don’t realize is that with a little practice, we can actually offer our vibration on purpose.  Which is to say, we can deliberately raise the frequency of our thoughts, our words and our emotions to a higher level.  And when we do, we change our vibrational point of attraction completely.  This is how we can begin to magnetize from the universe at large more of what we desire.  

Here are 3 energy mastery practices that will support you in raising your vibration, and therefore, up-leveling your entire life.

Practice #1 to raise your vibration:  Get your energy moving.  

A high vibration is one that’s moving at a faster and less resistant rate of speed.  Low vibrations are those that are stagnant or moving at a resisted and therefore slower rate. One of the best ways to understand vibration is to consider the range of your emotions. 

Your emotions run along a spectrum of frequency from high to low.  And like the spectrum of light frequencies in a rainbow, they range from denser, more resistant energies to those that are progressively more subtle and free-flowing.  

At the high end of your emotional spectrum are good-feeling emotions like joy, appreciation, empowerment, freedom, and love. And at the opposite end of the continuum, we dip into the range of horrible-feeling emotions:  Shame, despair, grief, depression, and hopelessness. In fact, these vibrations are so slow-moving in terms of their energetic frequency that we actually feel paralyzed when we experience them. 

So when you find yourself in a slower-moving, more resistant state of being, the first thing to do is to Get. Your. Energy. Moving.

Put on music that engages or inspires you.  Change the environment you’re in and give your senses new impressions to take in.  Bring your awareness to your breath.  Drink a large glass of water.  Take a shower with hot water then cold.  Clear the clutter from your desk.  Go for a drive.  Spend a few moments outside.  If possible, go for a brisk walk or do a few yoga poses.  

Remember that your body and mind are intimately connected in an ongoing feedback loop.  Whatever you do that raises the vibration of one will automatically increase the frequency of the other.  And when your body is energized, your mind and emotions will follow suit.

Practice #2 to raise your vibration:  Watch your words. 

The thoughts you think generate a vibration, which is carried along a particular energetic wavelength.   And when you voice your thoughts aloud, the momentum of those thought waves moves faster and faster.  Your words are creative in nature, which is why it’s so important to choose them deliberately and well.  

Words like, “He/she will never like me,” “Why is this so hard?” or “I’ll never succeed,” are like affirmations-in-reverse.  Rather than leading us in proximity to the things we want to create, they nurture the very outcomes we’re trying to avoid.   And, most of us have become so accustomed to using our words to miscreate that these conversations actually occur to us as “normal.”   

It’s “normal” to use others as a sounding board for our insecurities or self-doubts.  Also “normal” to gossip, complain and point out petty annoyances.  And, It’s “normal” to argue for our limitations to the point that we lose sight of our many blessings and gifts.     

Every word we speak generates momentum, and the more words we offer about what isn’t wanted, the more unwanted momentum we create.  Put simply, if we talk about everything that’s terrible, we not only feel terrible, but are more likely to create terrible outcomes.  But thankfully, this also works in reverse.  With a little deliberate attention, we can align our words with the positive outcomes we desire to create.  

Practice #3 to raise your vibration:  Cultivate the energy of gratitude.  

Your mind is a focusing mechanism, and the direction of your focus has an enormous impact on your personal vibration.  With the power of your focus, you can tune into energies that are enlivening and expansive. And you can also choose to focus on circumstances that are horrible and devastating.  This is the amazing gift of free will.  No one but you has the power to choose the direction of your attention.   

If you’re focused on what’s missing, what’s wrong, or what didn’t go well in the past, your vibration will plummet.  And if you look for things to appreciate, it will soar.  And this is where practicing gratitude comes in.  

The energy of gratitude is one of the highest vibrations in all the universe.  With the same velocity that negative thinking repels the outcomes we desire, gratitude attracts them to us.   This is because gratitude causes us to focus on the abundance we already have, which expands us and increases our capacity for more.  In a state of gratitude, you become magnetic – not just to other people and opportunities, but to everything you desire.   

Use the power of your words to speak often about the things you appreciate, and to acknowledge the blessings that are all around you. In so doing, you raise your vibration to the frequencies where love, success, freedom, prosperity, and joy abound.    

Raising your vibration really comes down to becoming more sensitive to the way you feel.  With the words you offer, the things you focus on, and the images you conjure in your mind, pay attention to only one thing:  How does this make me feel?  What raises your mood will naturally raise your vibration.    

 

Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships.  You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: www.watchyourwords.com.

 

The Respect Project – The Power Of The Pivot and the Importance of Change

I was part of an important conversation called The Respect Project. The conversation was about the Power Of The Pivot and the Importance of Change.

Elisabeth Rohm has cultivated a dialogue with me and other amazing professionals such as:
  • Agnes Baddoo: Stylist and Designer of Agnes Baddoo Leather Goods
  • Colin Egglesfield: Actor, Author and Entrepreneur
  • Tracy Evans: Olympic Freestyle Skier and Founder of Kids Play International
  • David Orban: Managing Director of Beyond Enterprises
  • Dr. Shefali Tsabary: Author, International Speaker and Clinical Psychologist
You can listen to our inspirational conversation that will be sure to delight you below:

The RESPECT Project – 2021-0919-POWER OF THE PIVOT from The RESPECT Project on Vimeo.

 

 

 

Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships.  You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: www.watchyourwords.com.

 

It’s Possible to Reverse Aging; Mastering Your Energy is the Key

 

Energy is at the basis of everything.  How freely your personal energy is flowing is the reason that you feel eager or distraught.  It determines whether good ideas occur effortlessly or whether you struggle to find your creative flow.  When your energy is aligned and moving with momentum, you’re actually aging in reverse. And, more easily attracting all you desire.  

Here are 3 energy mastery principles you can apply to increase your vitality and prosperity, and start aging in reverse.

Principle #1:  Our relationship to energy is the difference between someone who feels old and someone who is aging in reverse.    

When you think about the difference between a child of 2 or 3 and an adult of 70 or 80, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?  If you consider this in terms of energy, you realize there’s a lot more to it than skin elasticity and muscle tone.

The hallmark of youthful people is an openness to experiencing the present moment.  They’re mentally flexible and prefer riding the wave of new ideas and possibilities over reliving the past.  And because they’re curious, they’re tapped into the universal stream from which all creativity arises.  With each new experience, they’re summoning more vitality and enthusiasm.  Rather than becoming older and more set in their ways, they’re actually aging in reverse.  

Now contrast this picture with most average adults. You’ll realize that as we age we tend to become set in our ways.  What makes us feel old is that we’ve cut ourselves off from the universal energy stream that keeps us young.  

When we’re living in our heads, interpreting the present moment through the lens of the past, we no longer experience each moment as new and fresh.  Instead, we’re dragging our past beliefs, conclusions, and resentments forward into the present.  This is a burden that grows heavier and heavier with time.  Our resistance to what’s happening now cuts us off from the universal stream of vitality. Rather than aging in reverse, we begin to feel old.

Principle #2: Your mind can be your worst enemy or your most powerful ally for aging in reverse.

How you direct the focus of your mind has everything to do with the quality of the life experience you create.  

Like everything in the universe, your thoughts generate an energetic signal, and different thoughts resonate at different vibrational frequencies.  Some of these frequencies magnetize to us the outcomes we desire, while others attract outcomes that we dread. It’s something of a cosmic joke that the act of worrying about getting old actually accelerates the aging process!  

You can’t think and speak about how broke you are and attract abundance at the same time.  Likewise, you can’t feel heartbroken and be magnetic to love. When you look in the mirror and think about how fat you are, you’re actually pushing away the ideal body you desire to create.   And in the same way, you can’t effectively age in reverse when you’re worried about getting old.  In fact, worry is using your imagination to create the very experiences you’re hoping to avoid.

Energy mastery is about finally putting the horse in front of the cart.  

There’s really no way around it. With every thought we think, we’re either advocating for our power or we’re arguing for our limitations.  If you desire to age in reverse, you must begin to think and feel in ways that are consistent with that outcome.  Energy mastery is about first understanding that you attract from the universe experiences that are consistent with the expectations you hold.  And then it’s about deciding, on purpose, to think thoughts that align with the outcomes you desire rather than those you dread. 

You have so many creative powers at your disposal.  You can selectively sift through memories and relive the moments in time when you felt most passionate, youthful, and alive.  Look around your life right now and notice every sign of new growth and regeneration.  You can appreciate all the seemingly miraculous creations that take place on our planet every single day and allow yourself to be in awe.  And most importantly, you can engage the power of your imagination to conjure the reality you desire.  As Dr. Orison Marden, the author of Why Grow Old who founded Success magazine way back in 1897, wrote, “The face cannot betray the years until the mind has given its consent. The mind is the sculptor.”  

If you wish to age in reverse and look and feel 35 rather than 53, engage the power of your mind to conjure this reality in every detail.  

Principle #3:  In every moment, think, feel and do whatever brings you a sense of relief.  

Consider again the difference between someone very old and someone very young.  While most elderly people are consumed with what’s wrong and what hurts, young people are passionate about doing what feels good.

An energy master knows that when something feels good it means you’re on the right track!  Feeling good is your most accurate indicator that your vibration is flying high and resistance-free.  And in that good-feeling state, you are open to receive everything you’ve asked the universe to provide.  

If reversing your age is your desire, make a commitment to be childlike and gravitate toward everyone and everything that feels good.  And when you find yourself in a bad-feeling interaction or situation, understand that your most important priority is to tend to the split in your energy.  In other words, make your energetic alignment your highest and the first order of business.

With practice, you’ll be able to discern just what needs to happen in order to soothe your energy when it’s wonky.  Sometimes you don’t feel good because your energy is blocked or stagnant.  In those cases, you want to reach for things that encourage your energy to flow.  Move to another part of your home or office in order to get a fresh perspective.  Get your body moving through some form of physical exercise.  Sing loudly to your favorite song.  Clear the clutter from a room or even a single drawer.  And feel the release of resistance within you as you do.  

At other times, your energy may be moving so fast that it’s more chaotic than harmonic. Your thoughts are going a million miles a minute and you’re not sure which of them to act on first. 

In these moments, your best course of action is to withdraw from whatever you’re trying to focus on. Instead, focus on energy alignment.  Close your eyes and take some slow, deep breaths.  Rest in self-compassion and do your best to find acceptance for whatever is happening at the moment.  Soothe yourself with words of appreciation and reassurance, as you would offer to a young child.  Remember that the path to reversing aging is not one of forcing anything to happen, but becoming supple and childlike.   

Reversing aging is a process of replacing lower, slower, or chaotic vibrational frequencies with higher, faster, and more harmonic vibrational frequencies that feel better.  In other words, whenever you feel good, proclaim that you are, in that moment, reversing the aging process.  

Energy mastery is the path to a continual, renewable Fountain of Youth. 

 

Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships.  You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: www.watchyourwords.com.

 

5 Steps to Being Less Emotionally Reactive

 

Being overly reactive to the people and situations around you is more than just exhausting.  It actually displaces you from your personal power and undermines your ability to create the life you desire.  

Here are 3 principles that you can begin applying today to regain control of your vibration – and therefore, your emotional reactions.

First, declare that you – not anyone or anything outside of you – are in charge of the way you feel. 

Being less emotionally reactive begins by accepting one fundamental premise:  You have the ability to set your own emotional tone, regardless of how others around you are feeling. 

If you’ve fallen into the habit of being emotionally reactive, you probably feel at the mercy of other people’s moods.  This is what happens when we haven’t yet learned that we have the ability to calibrate our own emotional state.  We naturally fall into vibrational synch with the most dominant energy stream that surrounds us.   

But while this may seem like good news when we’re in the presence of positive, uplifting people, it’s ultimately disempowering.  Because emotionally reacting to others leaves us completely out of control of our own life experience.     

Truth be told, most of us are highly emotionally reactive. 

Meaning, we allow our internal moods and emotions to be controlled by events in the outer world.   And so, when something we consider to be good happens, our mood raises in response.  But if we perceive someone or something as misbehaving, our good mood plummets.  

When this is our orientation, we are literally handing the reigns of our life experience over to another.  So the first step to reclaiming your power is to assert that you and you alone are in charge of your mood.  The next step is to declare how you desire to feel and anchor yourself in that desired vibration. 

To become less emotionally reactive, declare how you want to feel and then anchor yourself into that desired vibration.   

Most people wait until they’re already in an unpleasant situation and then react to the environment they find themselves in.   But as a deliberate creator, you can decide to make a far more beneficial choice. 

You have the power to decide in advance how you want to feel and then set yourself up to experience that in every way you can think of.   I call this “preparing your internal environment,” and the good news is, it’s a skill you’ve already practiced many times throughout your life.

For example, think of the last time you hosted an event that turned out really well.  Chances are, you didn’t just throw it together last minute, but actually spent time creating it in advance.  

You probably curated your guest list based on the potential chemistry, interests, and synergy of each person within the group.  You likely took some time to think about the type of meal you wanted to make, then gathered the necessary ingredients.  On the day of the event, you probably even took steps to clean and beautify your home to make it joyous and welcoming to guests.  And all of these things were done, in advance, for one singular purpose:  to enhance the mood and experience of everyone involved.  You can apply a similar process to prepare your mood, so you can be more deliberate about your emotions and less reactive.   

Here’s how to prepare your internal environment.

To prepare your mood in advance of any situation or interaction, simply begin thinking thoughts of appreciation and joyful anticipation.  Go out of your way to notice and enhance all the possible positive aspects of everyone you’re about to encounter.   And while you’re at it, keep a running mental list of all the things you appreciate about yourself.  Decide in advance what qualities you wish to embody, and then take whatever actions support you in achieving that state.  

For example, suppose your intention is to show up to a meeting with your boss feeling calm and relaxed.  You’d want to begin thinking, in advance of that meeting, about the actions that would naturally foster that state of being.  You might consider getting a good night’s sleep or giving yourself a few extra minutes in the morning.  If you’re going after a state of enthusiasm, perhaps listening to some inspiring music or going for a brisk walk would set the stage.

Reactive people stumble into a given situation and let the dominant vibration influence their mood.  Deliberate creators set their emotional tone on purpose by tending to it in advance.

The final step to becoming less emotionally reactive is to give yourself permission to do what feels best to you.

“Doing what feels best to oneself” may seem like obvious advice, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t follow it.   We put up with bad-feeling relationships for all kinds of reasons, and all of them come at a huge personal cost.  

Proclaim that you are 100% responsible for your mood, then decide how you want to feel.  If you take these first steps, the final step will come easy, and the most beneficial choices will be clear.  

You see, you can’t be committed to being peaceful and engage in conflict at the same time.  Or, you can’t decide that you want to feel loving and entertain hateful thoughts. You have to make a choice between the two, and if you allow them, your feelings will guide the way.

Give yourself permission to pull back from resistance-filled people and situations.  Simply walk away for the time being, if you can.  And if the present situation doesn’t allow for that option, then at least withdraw your attention from the conflict.  

Remember that you are in charge of how, where, and on what you direct your focus. 

You can focus very specifically, or you can view a situation in the most general of terms.  Whenever you find yourself in a situation where the negative momentum is very strong, making feeling better your first priority.  

No matter where or who we’re with, there is always something we can do to bring more well-being into our experience. We just have to a) make our well-being a priority, and b) be willing to actively seek out better-feeling options.

 

Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships.  You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: www.watchyourwords.com.

 

Answers Network with Allen Cardoza Interview

I was interviewed by Allen Cardoza of Answers.Network today. We talked about The Desire Factor: Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Spiritual Power. You can watch the episode below.

Allen asked me to answer a specific question about the word desire, that came up during the interview, which you can listen to below the interview video.

 

Answering a question from a caller on the Answers Network with Allen Cardoza about the word ‘desire’:

 

 

 

Christy Whitman is an energy healer, Master Certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.  Her latest book, The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power is on sale now at www.thedesirefactor.com. Christy communicates with, and for, The Quantum Council, a collection of non-physical ascended masters who desire to help humanity understand that we are divinely designed for well-being, abundance, success, and loving relationships.  You can take the first step in alignment and creating your desires by a free 30-day program called Watch Your Words by going here: www.watchyourwords.com.